An engineer in her early 60s was shocked when her husband died suddenly from medical complications. The couple had long enjoyed living in a sprawling cedar contemporary overlooking a lake. But with her husband gone, maintenance on the house feels overwhelming -- as does the idea of selling.

More than a year later, the engineer is still grieving and pondering her real estate options. Should she sell her suburban property and move to a condo in an exciting part of the city, as several friends have done? Or should she stay put in the house that she and her husband so lovingly designed?

Arlen Olberding, a certified financial planner, doesn’t know the engineer in this true story. But he’s advised many clients grappling with tough housing choices after losing a spouse. In such cases, experience has taught him there’s no one-size-fits-all solution.

“People in this position should avoid making any step too hurriedly if they can afford to wait,” says Olberding, a fee-only planner affiliated with the National Association of Personal Financial Advisors (napfa.org).

Here are a few other pointers for newly widowed homeowners:

-- Face your financial realities first.

The engineer above owns her lakeside house free and clear. She can easily afford the taxes, insurance costs and maintenance fees for the property.

Still, for her and others who’ve lost a spouse, keeping a large family home indefinitely means serious financial trade-offs, says Mark Nash, a long-time real estate broker and author of “1001 Tips for Buying and Selling a Home.” In such cases, he suggests you consult a trusted financial planner or accountant before making any major real estate decisions.

“Crunching the numbers will tell you a lot about your options and help you face reality,” Nash says.

In advance of a visit to see your financial adviser, Nash suggests you determine how much your house is costing you in mortgage payments, taxes and maintenance outlays.

-- Make housing decisions in the context of your overall life plan.

All too often, people see their real estate choices in isolation from the broader issues of their lives, Nash says.

To whom should you turn to help chart your plans? Sometimes a real estate agent who’s willing to listen to your story (and who won’t push you to sell) is a better bet than a close friend or family member, according to Nash.

“Your family and friends aren’t always the most objective advisers. Besides an agent, you might want to talk to a therapist, counselor or life coach,” he says.

-- Take into account your emotional attachment to a property.

Nash says that in their 50s or 60s, more men than women are open to selling a family property and recasting their lives. He contends that more women are strongly attached to the home where they raised their children and want to keep a place with extra space for their extended families to visit -- a concept called the “mecca house.”

Nash says he’s worked with many older women who live to regret the sale of the spacious family home. Many of those who stay wish to slightly alter the place, perhaps with the help of an interior designer.

“This way a woman can put her imprint on the property for the next stage of her life,” Nash says.

-- Allow yourself ample time to make a solid decision.

Like others who’ve sold real estate for many years, Nash knows it can be a mistake to rush into a home sale right after a traumatic life event -- such as a spouse’s death. He says becoming an empty nester can also represent a surprisingly tough transition.

“The departure of the last kid from home can create an identity crisis that lasts until you find a new sense of purpose. This can throw into question the future of the family home,” Nash says.

Whether you’re still reeling from widowhood, a marital breakup or the departure of your grown children, you may be flooded with conflicting feelings about how to proceed with your real estate. In this state of mind, mistakes can happen.

Take the case of a medical researcher who lost her husband, a prominent doctor, after his brief battle with pancreatic cancer. Under pressure from her two grown daughters, the woman immediately sold her large Tudor and moved to a three-level townhouse nearby.

But the hasty sale netted the widow less than the market value of her property, and the new townhouse -- with tall ceilings and steep stairs -- was a poor choice for a woman in her late 50s already experiencing knee problems.

That’s why Nash urges you to take your time during any late-in-life housing transition.

“If you’re in doubt about whether to sell that big house, step back for a while and give yourself as much processing time as you need and can afford to take,” he says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)

A psychiatrist in his 60s is itching for the sale of his family’s architect-designed contemporary house. But his wife, already retired, is resisting his wish to downsize to an apartment.

As this true tale illustrates, it can be tough for empty nesters to finalize their future housing plans.

“Many older couples just fly by the seat of their pants on the selling decision,” says Eric Tyson, co-author of “Personal Finance After 50 for Dummies.”

Housing analysts say the argument for letting go of a property at this point in the economic cycle is bolstered by statistics.

On average, sellers are now obtaining a 29.7 percent return on investment compared with their original purchase price, says Daren Blomquist, a senior vice president at Attom Data Solutions, (attomdata.com), which tracks housing markets throughout the country.

But Blomquist says the data show that many longtime homeowners, including empty nesters, are resistant to selling.

Cary Carbonaro, a certified financial planner in the field for more than 20 years, says it’s not up to those in her profession to go beyond their role as advisers to clients struggling to reach the right housing choices.

“Where they live is really a personal decision,” says Carbonaro, author of “The Money Queen’s Guide: For Women Who Want to Build Wealth and Banish Fear.”

Here are a few pointers for homeowners torn about selling:

-- Factor lifestyle plans into your decision-making.

As Carbonaro notes, some parents of grown children relish the idea of downscaling to a smaller place that imposes fewer upkeep demands.

But other empty nesters wish to hang on to the large family property where they’ve raised kids because they want to take advantage of the extra space in new ways.

“They turn their kids’ rooms into fun rooms for themselves -- media rooms, hobby rooms or exercise rooms,” she says.

Still, Tyson cautions empty nesters against clinging to the big house with the uncertain hope it will become the hub for many extended family gatherings.

“It’s so hard to project ahead about where your grown children will be living or how much time they’ll have to spend with you once they get busy with their own lives,” he says.

-- Seek outside advice to gain perspective.

By going through a professional group, such as the National Association of Personal Financial Planners (napfa.org), you can locate a planner you can hire for just a few hours to discuss your empty-nest housing issues.

In addition, Tyson recommends that you consider seeking out advice through a certified public accountant who has also been trained as a “Personal Financial Specialist” (PFS). The American Institute of Certified Public Accountants awards this designation. You can locate a PFS in your area by visiting the organization’s website, aicpa.org.

-- Include financial factors in your decision-making.

Obviously, many people reach the kids-are-gone stage with years left in their careers and a strong desire to continue working. But that doesn’t mean they can afford to be oblivious to their future needs for retirement income.

“A fair number of boomers have under-saved for retirement,” Tyson says.

If you’re in this category -- and your home has appreciated substantially -- selling could open the way for investments that are potentially more lucrative.

“I’m talking about freeing up money from your current house by moving to a property that has a smaller mortgage and is less expensive to maintain,” he says.

If your offspring are still in college or grad school, you may have pledged that you’ll cover the full cost of their tuition payments. Still, there could be alternatives open to you.

Maybe you’ll want to meet with financial aid officers at your students’ schools to discuss alternative ways to help offset their tuition costs. For example, maybe they’d be eligible for scholarships, fellowships or work-study programs you didn’t know about previously.

-- Don’t delay charting your housing plans.

Some people appreciate the expanded freedom that comes with an empty-nest life. But others are depressed after the last child leaves.

“A lot of times people are in denial. They run away from making hard choices, such as whether to sell the big house and move,” Tyson says.

He says those in a funk about their new status as empty nesters can squander several years failing to explore and consider alternatives to staying put in their current home.

“It’s a huge mistake to rush into a decision about selling your home. But postponing your plans is also a really bad idea,” Tyson says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)

The last half-decade has been a buoyant period for home sellers at all price points on the housing ladder -- including the highest rungs. An improving economy and inventory shortages have combined to create a strong sellers’ market for luxury properties.

But sellers of high-end homes now face a double whammy. The new federal tax law is limiting the deductibility of mortgage interest, along with property taxes. Meanwhile, mortgage rates have started to climb, gradually eroding the buying power of purchasers.

“Luxury home sellers are going to be in a tougher position. There will be a weakening of demand for homes over $750,000,” says Daren Blomquist, a senior vice president at Attom Data Solutions, which tracks real estate markets throughout the country.

Blomquist says those selling quality properties valued at stratospheric levels of, say, $2 million and higher, have relatively little reason to fret. That’s because many wealthy purchasers use cash rather than mortgages to buy property. But he urges caution for sellers with luxury properties around the million-dollar mark.

“Don’t make too many pre-sale upgrades. Limit yourself to cosmetic changes such as new paint, flooring and landscaping. Otherwise, you might not get your investment back,” he says.

Here are a few additional tips for sellers:

-- Request a checklist of recommended changes from your listing agent.

“Before you sell, the key is to distinguish between changes that give you a big bang for your buck and those that simply represent money burned,” says Eric Tyson, a personal finance expert and co-author of “House Selling for Dummies.”

To come up with a focused plan for pre-sale improvements, Tyson urges sellers to ask their agent for a written checklist.

“A good agent will know which improvements are needed and justified and which are excessive,” he says.

Also, Tyson suggests that budget-conscious sellers consider selecting an agent trained in the art of staging.

“(It) saves you a bundle over hiring a professional staging service,” Tyson says.

-- Let go of plans for a pre-sale addition to your property.

Have you long planned to replace your diminutive family room with a more spacious “great room” that adjoins your kitchen? Are you contemplating doing so now just prior to selling your property? Would that make sense?

“The answer is normally ‘no’. In most cases, it’s not cost-effective to knock out walls to build an addition,” Tyson says.

Those who attempt a pre-sale addition rarely recoup more than 50 percent to 60 percent of the money invested, he says. Moreover, any construction project that involves the removal of walls can be very time-consuming and stressful.

“Usually, the only time homeowners are smart to do a pre-sale addition is to replace an addition that was badly done or an eyesore,” Tyson says.

-- Avoid upgrades over neighborhood standards.

As your listing agent will likely tell you, your kitchen is a high-priority area when it comes to pre-sale improvements. If it’s a turnoff to buyers, many will pass on your place.

“But in your kitchen, as elsewhere in your house, the idea is to meet and not exceed neighborhood standards,” Tyson says.

For instance, if you have laminate countertops and the neighborhood standard calls for granite or quartz, you’ll want to upgrade. Still, if most other local properties still have laminate, you may not need to switch. Likewise, don’t replace regular kitchen appliances with high-end professional-quality ones unless your neighbors have the same.

Other kitchen upgrades are often less expensive. For example, new cabinet hardware is usually worth the expense. And the replacement of badly worn kitchen flooring also bears consideration.

Still, there are limits on how much you should spend in your kitchen, even if you’re living in a luxury community.

“Most buyers won’t pay you back for a major kitchen renovation,” Tyson says.

-- Focus heavily on the exterior look of your place.

The landscaping around your place is like the frame around a painting; it defines the entire image of the home.

But, as Tyson says, upgrading your landscaping need not be costly, assuming you’re resourceful and don’t inhabit a palatial estate.

“You’ll want to trim your shrubs and you’ll definitely, absolutely want to remove dead plants. A dead plant is a real turnoff,” he says.

For replacement plants, Tyson suggests you turn to a local nursery for free guidance on plant selection and design. Or look to a helpful neighbor with a green thumb. Most home sellers can dramatically improve the street-level appeal of their property by cutting back or replacing any overgrown shrubbery that shrouds their place. But no matter how majestic your home may be, it’s not necessary to install exotic plants or dazzling fountains to make it sell.

“Tearing out your whole landscaping plan and starting over is almost never called for and can be hugely costly. In this case, the perfect is the enemy of the good,” Tyson says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)