With grad school behind her, a public relations specialist told her real estate agent it was time to buy her first house. Topping her list of preferences: A two-story colonial built of stone.

But just days later, the woman bought a single-story contemporary with redwood siding. She’d fallen in love with the place, which featured a lush interior courtyard and three sun-filled bedrooms.

Situations like this true story prompt some in the real estate field to invoke the adage that “buyers are liars.” But real estate pros insist few buyers deliberately mislead their agents about what they want in a house or can afford to pay.

“Homebuyers tend to be more naive than anything else,” says Richard Courtney, a veteran real estate broker and author of a light-hearted book called “Buyers Are Liars and Sellers Are Too!”

He says it’s very possible for well-meaning people to insist they want one type of home only to change course and buy something entirely different.

“The main thing is to keep giving your agent accurate feedback about the homes you’re seeing,” Courtney says.

Sometimes homebuyers give their agents the wrong signals because they’ve failed to seriously consider their preferences and instead rely on conventional thinking, says Kerrie Kelly, an interior designer and spokesperson for Zillow, which tracks real estate markets all over the country.

For instance, homebuyers might automatically assume they’d prefer an all-white kitchen when they’d actually like one with lots of accents in a classic blue, currently a very popular choice.

“Homes with kitchens in a soft shade of blue are now selling for $1,800 more than those with all-white kitchens,” says Kelly, the creative director of her own design lab (kerriekelly.com).

Here are a few tips for buyers:

-- Start with a preliminary visit to a mortgage lender.

Courtney, who’s sold homes for more than three decades and works in the Nashville area, a music mecca, says he’s occasionally encountered wannabe buyers who are “delusional.”

“They come to town boasting about a $1 million recording or music publishing contract. Part of living out their fantasy is to look at some very expensive houses,” he says.

Realtors with experience are quick to identify those who claim they’re candidates for a mansion yet can’t even afford a more modest place. Chances are they’ll decline to show them property of any sort.

Though very few would-be buyers are delusional, Courtney says most need to see a mortgage lender to set a ceiling on what they can afford. That way, they won’t waste time looking at properties above their reach.

Eric Tyson, a personal finance expert and co-author of “Home Buying for Dummies,” says some buyers dread hearing the unembellished truth from a lender.

-- Seriously consider your authentic preferences before starting your search.

Once you know how much you can afford, it’s time to reflect on your true wants and needs -- and to do so with a spouse or a partner if you’re part of a couple.

Tyson suggests you retreat to a tranquil space, shut off your phones and discuss your priorities in a focused way.

Would you rather have a three-car garage or a fourth bedroom? Would you opt for a smaller house on a bigger lot or vice versa? These are questions no real estate agent can answer for you.

Of course, you may ultimately purchase something quite different than you had in mind during your initial soul-searching session. But you’re less likely to make a huge mistake if you’ve thought through your goals from the outset.

-- Reveal your authentic reactions to the homes you visit.

“Unfortunately, some buyers are so fearful of offending their agents that they suppress their true reactions to property they’re shown,” Tyson says.

But to avoid taking you further off track, your agent needs to hear your negative reactions to properties you don’t like.

“Yes, agents can surmise some of your reactions by noticing your body language. But don’t expect them to read your mind,” Tyson says.

-- Give a trusted agent some latitude to pre-screen properties for you.

Although you want your agent to be guided by your preferences, it’s also wise to allow the agent some latitude to occasionally add in a “wild card.” This is a home that your agent thinks you might like, even though it doesn’t meet all your search criteria.

Agents who are in sync with their clients’ reactions can sometimes guess when they’ll like a particular property, even one that doesn’t sound right on paper.

-- Don’t hang on to an agent who ignores your preferences.

Realtors generally pick up quickly on “buying signals,” indications that clients are seriously interested in a particular property. Beyond facial expressions and other body language, couples who like a home typically start talking about where they’d place their furniture or how they’d use particular rooms.

But in rare instances, real estate agents repeatedly fail to pick up on even the most overt messages conveyed by their clients. If your agent seems tone-deaf to your reactions, Tyson says it could be time for a change.

“Any agent who refuses to take seriously your legitimate homeownership goals has no one to blame but himself if you make a shift,” he says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)

A few years ago, Ralph McLaughlin and his architect wife were shopping when they spotted an appealing condo and -- on a whim -- toured a model unit. Soon, the couple and their two Belgian terriers moved in.

“It’s like an urban village with 10 restaurants and (a) handy Target store,” he says.

As the chief economist for Trulia, which tracks real estate markets throughout the country, McLaughlin always advises homebuyers to take a systematic approach to the selection of a property. But he acknowledges his own choice was more emotional.

“We weren’t seriously looking when we happened upon this condo. But it’s working well for us and has gained 10 percent in value each year we’ve been there,” he says.

McLaughlin and his wife intend to remain in the unit they purchased for many years. That’s one key to a wise property investment.

“Most people’s wealth in real estate is based on staying in the property for at least six to eight years,” he says.

John Rygiol, a real estate broker affiliated with the National Association of Exclusive Buyer Agents (naeba.org), says it’s especially crucial for condo buyers to shop carefully, as appreciation for condos is unpredictable.

“People who buy the wrong condo can find selling tough. That’s because market demand for condos is less than for detached houses,” Rygiol says.

Statistics can tell you a lot about the desirability of a condo building. But your emotional response to a building is also telling, says Fred Meyer, a real estate appraiser and broker who’s sold homes since 1963.

“Make sure you really love the condo with both heart and soul. If you love it wholeheartedly, chances are better others will love it, too,” Meyer says.

Here are a few pointers for those planning a condo purchase:

-- Search for an area with a healthy employment base.

The vitality of a local real estate market is tied closely to the employment strength of the area. But, as Meyer says, the buyers of condos shouldn’t count on a single employer to keep the local economy afloat.

How can you investigate the strength of the local economy?

“Go to the offices of the Chamber of Commerce and ask what’s happening to jobs in the area,” Meyer says.

-- Review data to validate your hunches about the right condo building.

“Look at the resale history for the building going back as long as four years. Notice especially the median number of days it takes to sell units in the building. The more days it takes to go from list to sell, the less liquid the building,” Meyer says.

Also, he says you should be sure to check the “reserves” of the building -- which translates to the amount of money owners have set aside for key repairs and renovations.

“A poorly financed building can become rundown, making it less desirable for future owners,” Meyer says.

-- Avoid a building with unusually low condo fees.

Nearly all condo buildings impose “condo fees” on their residents. Among other expenses, these monthly charges cover the cost of routine upkeep on a building and its grounds, along with support services, like a concierge at the front entrance.

Rygiol says would-be condo buyers sometimes shop for a building with the lowest possible monthly fees to contain expenses. But seeking out a building with rock-bottom fees could be a mistake.

“In my experience, you get what you pay for in condo fees. A building with very low fees might actually decline in value, due to poor maintenance,” he says.

-- Don’t select a building with a large portion of renters.

Homebuyer advocates are wary of buildings in which a large percentage of the units have been rented out by their owners.

“Owner occupants feel a natural pressure to ensure that a building is adequately maintained. Renters don’t feel that pressure,” Meyer says.

What percentage of owner-occupants is sufficient? In most cases, Meyer says you’ll want to see more than half the units occupied by owners. However, this rule may not hold in a resort community where seasonal rentals are the norm.

Though it’s wise to avoid a building with a large number of renters, Meyer says it’s also smart to avoid one that prohibits owners from renting out their units.

“That’s a huge right to give up -- to be forbidden to rent out your apartment if you want or need to do so down the line,” Meyer says.

-- Choose your condo unit wisely.

Even in the ideal building, not all apartments are created equal. Some will be more saleable when it comes time to put your property on the market.

Meyer says it’s usually unwise to buy one of the most expensive condos in a building unless statistics show such apartments have sold readily and for respectable prices.

“It’s usually smarter to buy one of the less expensive units in a building that also has high-end units. Then, over time, the high-end units will help hoist your property values,” he says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)

After Joshua Becker and his family sold their 2,200-square-foot house in Vermont and bought a smaller place, they vowed to enjoy the results of a scaled-down lifestyle.

“We considered the benefits of owning fewer possessions: less to clean, less debt, less to organize, less stress, more money and energy for our greatest passions,” says Becker, a professional writer whose books include, “The More of Less: Finding the Life You Want Under Everything You Own.”

But what faces many downsizers -- the process of letting go of excess belongings -- proves arduous.

“There’s a big stigma to downsizing. As Americans, it’s ingrained in us to believe that owning more is better than owning less,” Becker says.

One way to minimize the agony of decluttering is to start with the parts of your home where culling will have greatest impact in the shortest time. For example, before selling their Vermont house, Becker and his wife started in their master bedroom, sifting through clothing to eliminate pieces they no longer wore. Then, they tackled excess toiletries in their master bathroom.

“When you’re going to a smaller house, you must decide which things have the most meaning for you,” says Beverly Coggins, author of “Three Steps to Downsizing to a Smaller Residence.”

A professional organizer since 1995, Coggins says she’s learned it’s best to break the work into chunks rather than to attempt marathon sessions.

To avoid excessive fatigue, she encourages downsizers to focus their work on the times of day they have peak energy. Also, she recommends they spend no more than four or five hours at a time on these chores.

Here are a few tips for those of any age who are moving to a smaller domain:

-- Liberate yourself of extra furniture early in your transition.

For most people, one major step toward downsizing involves dispensing with large pieces of furniture. Beyond precious antiques and family heirlooms, many find this process relatively easy because they don’t have sentimental attachments to most furniture.

Sid Davis, a real estate broker and author of “A Survival Guide to Selling a Home,” says one way to clear space and furniture quickly is to put it up for sale.

If you have valuable antiques to sell, you’ll probably want to find a reputable dealer. But more routine items of furniture, as well as household belongings, can be effectively sold through an informal sale.

“People are surprised at how much money they can make through a local yard sale,” says Davis, who recommends that downsizers work with neighbors to attract more interest to their event.

-- Save money by avoiding use of a storage unit.

Many downsizers succumb to the temptation to place their belongings in a storage unit before they move. But Coggins strongly advises against this course if you can avoid it.

“Storage units are expensive. And for most people, they’re just an excuse to postpone making decisions on stuff they need to eliminate,” she says.

When working with downsizers, Coggins encourages them to dispense with many items -- including clothing that no longer fits -- especially if they haven’t used it for a year or longer. The same applies to many household items.

She says many people feel especially anxious about letting go of gifts from relatives or close friends. But she says such guilt is needless.

“It doesn’t mean you love the person any less because you can’t keep everything they give you,” she says.

To be sure, you’ll not want to cast off items with unusual meaning to you, like family pictures and love letters. But unfortunately, you may not be able to take everything you love. In such cases, Coggins suggests you take photos of the treasured items -- like a grand piano passed down in the family. These can be framed and hung up in your new domain.

-- Make it easy to donate items to charity through pickup services.

Many downsizers find it easier to let go of extra belongings if they know they’ll go to good use. That’s why Coggins and other professional organizers often advocate contacting charitable organizations interested in collecting serviceable items.

Very often charity groups will pick up items from your home, a convenient way to free yourself of clutter. Also, with a pickup appointment, you’ll have a definite deadline for your work, which can serve as a motivating factor.

The Salvation Army, for example, offers pickup services in many areas. To learn more or schedule a pickup, visit salvationarmyusa.org or contact its toll-free number: 800-728-7825.

-- Stay focused on the positives in your future.

Many seniors downsize because they must cut expenses. But even those who must downsize involuntarily often find that the process has positives.

As Coggins notes, with fewer home upkeep demands, you’ll have more time to focus on the people most important to you.

“After downsizing, many people realize it’s relationships, not stuff, that brings them happiness,” she says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)