Across America, first marriages are on the decline. But oddly, remarriages are increasing, according to the Pew Research Center, a nonpartisan think tank. More than 60 percent of previously married men tie the knot again -- and more than half of women.

A second marriage often comes with an extra abode, raising the tricky question of where the couple should live. Should they reside in her place or his? Or should they sell both and buy a third, neutral space in another community where neither has roots?

“The question of domicile is extremely sensitive and must be handled carefully,” says Dorcas Helfant, a real estate broker and past president of the National Association of Realtors.

Take the true story of a lawyer married to an association executive. At the time of their divorces, both had been living modest suburban lives. After they wed, they had many heated discussions on where to live jointly. Ultimately, they sold both houses and moved to a downtown condo with lots of contemporary features and luxury amenities.

“Sometimes it takes lots of arguing for a couple to reach consensus. But if you end up buying a house together, you’re likely to enjoy an exciting new beginning for your relationship,” Helfant says.

On the other hand, the best choice for a couple could be to pick the better located of the two properties.

“Compromise isn’t a dirty word when it comes to marital housing choices,” Helfant says.

There’s no one right answer for people who acquire a second home through marriage, says Jo Snyder-Ritter, a real estate broker since 1977. Nor is there one right answer for those who inherit a place and must decide whether to move to that property, rent it out or sell it.

For instance, suppose you and your siblings have inherited the family home where you were raised. If none of you wish to live there, you could decide to sell the property and split the proceeds in accord with your parents’ wishes. But if one of you has the desire and means to buy the others out, that could be the better option.

“However you acquire an extra home, you must decide what’s best for you,” says Snyder-Ritter, who’s affiliated with the Council of Residential Specialists.

She tells the true story of one of her clients, an engineer and an only child who inherited his mother’s ranch-style property. He and his wife, the parents of two young children, decided to move to his mother’s home because it was larger and better located than the place where they’d been living.

“Changing houses let them step up to a prestige neighborhood with excellent schools for their kids. So, in this case, selling their old house and moving to the mom’s place was the right choice,” Snyder-Ritter says.

Here are a few pointers:

-- Ponder your retirement plans before locking in a housing decision.

James J. Casey, a certified financial planner, recommends that those who acquire an extra house through marriage or inheritance consider their options in light of a holistic financial plan, including their need for retirement savings.

If the extra home you acquire is much larger than where you live now, he urges you to factor in higher utility costs before deciding to upsize.

Casey also discourages newly married couples from hanging onto an extra property for an extended period.

“Get down to one residence as soon as possible,” he says.

Would you like to work with a financial planner to formulate your housing plan? If so, Casey suggests you ask friends or relatives for names or contact a trusted accountant or attorney for referrals.

“People in these professions are very careful who they recommend,” Casey says.

-- Ask for advice from experienced real estate pros.

Once you’ve set your total housing budget -- factoring in the need for savings -- Casey says you should seek information on the market values of the properties you own, looking to real estate agents for counsel.

He recommends you meet with at least two to three agents, asking them about recent neighborhood sales and how much you could reasonably expect to make if you sell or rent your extra property.

As Casey says, a reputable agent shouldn’t press you to liquidate a house.

“When you meet with the agents, you’ll be able to tell who’s on top of their game and who’s just trying to push for a sale. You can discount the advice of anyone just pushing for a sale,” he says.

-- Don’t limit yourself to a single neighborhood.

Would a second marriage give you the option of moving to an entirely different area? If so, don’t automatically rule that out. Changing lifestyles can be a positive experience for those open to the experience.

“Many times, moving to a new area puts a positive spin on a couple’s life,” Helfant says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)

A young lawyer and his wife were living in the two-bedroom condo they bought in a downtown area right after their wedding. Now the proud parents of a baby girl, they plan to keep the condo at least until their daughter enters kindergarten.

Urban condo ownership works well for the couple in several ways. Living downtown lets the lawyer walk to work -- thereby sparing him a traffic-ridden commute from the suburbs. Weeknights, he can keep a late appointment with clients and still get home for dinner. Weekends, the couple can walk to dinner or a movie with friends who also live in the city.

An increasing preference for city living is one reason downtown ownership rates are inching higher in some popular metro areas.

“In some metros, you can now own a city condo as cheaply as renting, and maybe even more so,” says Tom Early, a former president of the National Association of Exclusive Buyer Agents (naeba.org).

As Early says, construction of new condo buildings has outpaced demand in some city centers, keeping prices in check. But he cautions there are many potential pitfalls to the selection of an ideal city condo.

In particular, avoid any building with high condo fees for amenities you’ll rarely use.

“For example, who would want to pay for the upkeep on a big indoor pool if you don’t even like to swim,” Early says.

Here are a few pointers on making the right city condo choice:

-- Pick a downtown neighborhood where you feel at ease.

Suppose you work for a bank or an insurance company and are considering a condo in the financial district. If so, that might only be a good bet if you’re moving to a part of the city with at least as many residential as commercial buildings, says Fred Meyer, a veteran real estate broker and appraiser.

“A neighborhood that’s mostly office buildings can seem like a cold, uncomfortable place once those buildings clear out at night,” Meyer says.

He urges you to visit a neighborhood you’re considering at various daytime, evening and weekend hours and to trust your instincts on whether it feels right to you.

“It’s a good idea to walk the streets and stop at nearby shops and eateries. Then ask yourself how you like the area,” Meyer says.

-- Compare buildings in the area of your choice.

Eileen Brennan, a real estate broker affiliated with the Council of Residential Specialists (crs.com), says condo buildings vary widely in terms of their internal culture.

“A new building could be a good choice, but so could an older building that’s well-maintained. Either way, you’re usually better off living in a purely residential building rather than one that also has offices and retail shops,” she says.

How can you tell if the building you like has a friendly atmosphere? Brennan suggests you talk to residents you meet in the hallways or chat with building staff, like a doorman or concierge working at the front desk.

-- Show extra sensitivity to potential noise problems.

If you’ve lived most of your life in a house, you may be unaware of how troublesome noise can be in a condo building. A building with poor soundproofing can hamper your quality of life.

“Imagine living next door to a guy who pounds his fists against your wall when he thinks you’ve got the TV on too loud,” Early says.

In the design and construction of new condo buildings, extra attention is often given to soundproofing. However, a condo in an older building could be good in this respect.

“Units in old buildings with massive walls can be surprisingly quiet,” Early says.

-- Check out key documents to learn more about a condo building.

Condo owners live in close quarters and must adhere to homeowner association rules. That’s why Early encourages potential buyers to obtain a copy of these rules before purchasing a unit.

“Ask yourself, for example, if you’d be happy in a place where you can’t have a dog or hang a towel on the balcony,” Early says.

Before you bid on any unit, he says you should ask your real estate agent for a copy of the homeowner’s association rule book. Also, ask to see the association’s financial statements to ensure that the building has sufficient reserves to meet its repair bills without imposing a “special assessment” on residents.

-- Track local market trends before submitting a bid.

As Meyer says, you’ll want to do plenty of homework to determine the current market value of any condo before making a contract offer.

To do this, ask your agent to find data on sales of comparable units that have closed within the last six months or longer, Meyer says.

“Find sales in the same building for units roughly like the one you want. This should help keep you from overpaying,” he says.

-- Don’t skip the professional inspection.

Some buyers believe a professional inspection isn’t necessary for those buying a condo. But Early says all condo buyers should hire a skilled inspector prior to finalizing a purchase.

Beside your apartment, “he should also check out the building as a whole -- including its plumbing, electrical and fire suppression systems. Otherwise you could be in for some nasty surprises after moving in,” he says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)

Many first-time homeowners now feel trapped in the original property they bought several years ago. They’d love to upgrade to a larger place with more amenities. But as home prices continue to rise and with inventories still tight, they fear getting priced out of the market.

“Without enough listings on the market, affordability is decreasing, and buyers are increasingly saying that finding the right home is their top struggle,” says Jessica Lautz, who directs survey research for the National Association of Realtors (realtor.org).

As Lautz notes, home prices have risen year-over-year for 67 straight months, and multiple offers are still a “common occurrence.” This has led to a variety of reactions from prospective buyers.

“Some folks are wary and refuse to wait to buy that better home. But others believe waiting for prices to settle down is their best avenue. Consequently, there’s lots of friction in households that are divided about their next steps,” says Eric Tyson, a personal finance expert and co-author of “Home Buying for Dummies.”

Here are a few pointers for potential trade-up purchasers:

-- Review your reasons for planning to move.

Anxiety can prevent people from moving ahead, even when it’s against their interest. But those convinced that now is a good time to buy a bigger home shouldn’t let unwarranted fears constrain them, says Sid Davis, a real estate broker and author of “A Survival Guide for Buying a Home.”

“Assuming you’ve found your dream home and are itching to move forward, don’t let baseless fears block you,” Davis says.

Davis says one way to put your fears about real estate in perspective is to re-examine your original reasons for trading up. Has your growing family outgrown its small space, meaning that your kids must share bedrooms? Are your plans for a home-based business on hold?

“Remember that waiting to acquire that larger house means that your intentions are delayed, which would postpone improvement to your quality of life. Anyway, there’s no guarantee you’d get a better deal a year or two from now,” Davis says.

-- Research your local real estate market.

In many areas, inventories of unsold homes are still very tight or shrinking, making multiple bids commonplace. But in other neighborhoods, the inventory balance is gradually getting better for those seeking to move up. And in still other areas, the picture is mixed. It all depends on your target market.

Suppose, for instance, that you’re selling a property in a starter-home community in great demand by millennials. Meanwhile, you’re intending to buy in a luxury-home neighborhood where there’s an ample supply of properties and buyers don’t outnumber sellers. In that case, you could do well on your dual transactions.

“Entry-level buyers are still having a crazy time trying to burst into ownership,” Davis says.

If you live in an area with many available housing options, you can afford to take somewhat more time to make your selection and seal a deal. But Davis cautions against waiting indefinitely to buy in any area that remains red hot.

“Assuming this is really the right time for you to buy and your numbers work, don’t let past disappointments with real estate --like losing out in a multiple bidding situation -- haunt you,” he says.

-- Find an experienced mortgage lender to help you crunch numbers.

Unsure whether you want to go forward with a trade-up move? Worried that the numbers or your credit history could scotch your chances for better housing?

If so, Davis recommends you fact-check your concerns by visiting the office of a mortgage lender who will analyze your personal situation and determine whether you’d be eligible to buy that bigger house you have in mind.

Even if you’re confident you can qualify for a mortgage on a bigger home, it’s good to gain pre-approval to enhance your chances of acquiring your dream house.

As always, lenders want certainty that any mortgage they originate will be solid. This means you’ll need to be prepared to answer the lender’s request for documents.

“It’s true that lenders are a little less stringent than they were in the past. But you still need to have all your paperwork in order,” Davis says.

As proof of income, many mortgage lenders currently insist on much more documentation than the customary pay stubs and W-2s. They may also require federal tax returns. Also, most lenders now want proof that the funds you’ve amassed for your down payment have been in your savings or checking accounts for some time and weren’t just borrowed last week from a family member.

“For almost everyone, trading up to fancier quarters means proving you have the wherewithal to handle a heftier mortgage,” Davis says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)