A couple in their mid-30s married a few weeks after discovering their first child was on the way. To save rent money toward a home purchase, they moved temporarily into a rundown place owned by the husband's parents.

All went smoothly until the couple transitioned to the home-buying stage. The man wanted a large garage, but kept his preference to himself. Meanwhile, the wife spotted a hilltop house with no garage that she adored, and talked her husband into its purchase.

Regrettably, the couple's marriage didn't last long after they moved to the hilltop house. One factor leading to the breakup was the husband's smoldering resentment over how their homebuying decision was reached. He felt his wife made the choice unilaterally.

The latest available data from the National Association of Realtors shows that married couples now make up the largest share of homebuyers (66 percent) and have the highest average income ($99,200). But as this true story illustrates, housing decisions not made collaboratively can be rough on relationships.

"It's not surprising that tensions can erupt when you're dealing with the largest financial decision of your lives," says Tom Early, a real estate broker who twice served as president of the National Association of Exclusive Buyer Agents.

To avoid the kind of arguments that housing decisions can engender, he recommends that couples go out of their way to understand each other's preferences.

Here are a few pointers for home-buying couples:

-- First determine how much you can afford to spend.

Many couples launch an elaborate property search before first setting their spending limits. But experienced real estate agents urge buyers to start by talking to a reputable mortgage lender who can give them affordability guidelines.

"Price comes first because it dictates how much of your wish list is actually doable," says Ashley Richardson, an agent who's sold property since 1993.

"You don't have to commit to taking out your mortgage from the first lender you see. But chances are you'll get better service and more solid information from a local lender than someone on the Internet you can only contact by phone or email," she says.

Why is it easier for couples to reach agreement if they first obtain mortgage pre-approval? Because, as Richardson says, those who know their spending limits are more realistic, which makes compromise easier.

-- Select a neighborhood as your next step.

Obviously, picking the right neighborhood is a personal choice that no real estate agent can make for you. For that reason, Richardson suggests you evaluate several neighborhoods before asking an agent to pinpoint listings in any area.

"You can save a lot of time by identifying your favorite neighborhood early and then finding a real estate agent who truly specializes in that community," Richardson says.

She recommends that couples discuss the neighborhood features most important to them. They need to decide, for example, whether it's more important to live close to work or in an area with lots of verdant open space.

Though many homebuyers spend ample time comparing neighborhoods through Internet searches, Richardson recommends they also spend some weekend hours driving through neighborhoods of interest, stopping by open houses.

-- Determine which features you're willing to trade off.

Many couples with young children are anxious to move up from a small starter home to a place with more bedrooms and bathrooms. They typically find it easy to agree on their space needs.

But beyond these core requirements, some couples argue about the next most important property features. For instance, is it more important to buy a place with a two-car garage or a large lot?

Because few couples can afford a home with every feature they want, Richardson encourages the partners to give each other a list of priorities. That way, both husband and wife will likely get more of what they want.

"To avoid fights, they have to be clear on their top concerns," she says.

-- Don't rule out buying a place that needs reasonable renovations.

Gone are the days when most homebuyers were willing to take out the largest mortgage they could obtain. Though good jobs are now more abundant than they were in the immediate aftermath of the Great Recession, many couples still fear maxing out on a home loan.

"One way to deal with the huge problem of affordability, especially for first-time buyers, is to consider a place that's priced below market but needs only superficial upgrades to make it desirable," Early says.

To find out if the improvements you'll need would fit in your budget, call contractors for cost estimates even before you sign a sales contract.

"Many busy people hate the concept of home improvement. But if you're a couple for whom cost is a major concern, agreeing on a house that needs only painting, new carpet or other cosmetic fixes could let you own a place that will ultimately make both of you happy without a stressful strain on your budget," Early says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)

A couple in their late 50s spent months prepping their house for sale. They did everything on their listing agent's checklist, including cleaning, de-cluttering and repairs. They even hired a designer to choose the paint color for their shutters.

But, as with most endeavors, hard work doesn't necessarily preclude hard luck. Ten days after receiving a signed contract offer, the sellers were stunned to learn the buyers were backing out.

"Out of the blue, one day they called to say they just couldn't go through with the deal due to money problems," recalls Joan McLellan Tayler, who handled the listing and eventually sold the property to other buyers.

The lesson is that when selling a home, there are no guarantees. Even sellers who follow all their listing agent's suggestions can have problems, says Tayler, a long-time real estate company owner.

Here are a few steps sellers can take to improve their odds.

-- Look for an experienced listing agent.

Tayler was new to the business when she represented the couple in the above story. Looking back, she realizes she should have asked more questions. That way, she might have helped her clients avoid a botched deal.

Too many people take a casual approach to picking an agent, she says, noting that some make the mistake of hiring a relative, a friend or a young agent looking to get started.

Ideally, she says, sellers should opt for an agent with experience in handling lots of different deals. Those with a track record, she adds, are most apt to sniff out problems before they happen.

If for personal reasons you're determined to choose a newcomer, she suggests you ask that agent to share the listing with an established pro from the same office.

"With two agents on your side, you'll benefit from both their strengths," Tayler says.

-- Request financial details on prospective buyers.

In the face of high housing prices, many purchasers continue to rely on government-backed low down payment loans.

But to prevent a repeat of the mortgage crisis that led to the financial downturn, lenders and their regulators continue to hold would-be purchasers to stringent standards.

"Since the recession, we've never returned to the era of super-easy money," says Eric Tyson, co-author of "Mortgages for Dummies."

Savvy sellers are careful to check the financial standing of would-be purchasers before accepting any bid.

Before accepting an offer, sellers should insist on seeing a genuine "pre-approval" letter from a known lender. This should establish that the prospective buyers have had their credit checked, their employment confirmed and their assets verified.

In addition, prospects can be asked to supply other details about their creditworthiness, such as their credit scores. The most common of these, known as "FICO scores," range from 300 to 850. The higher that number, the more likely are borrowers to get the loan they need to close the deal.

"To be safe, look for buyers with a FICO score of at least around 700 or better," Tyson says.

Bidders can obtain reports on their credit scores from the website www.myfico.com.

-- Foresee issues that could arise in the home inspection phase.

These days, a majority of buyers exercise their right to a home inspection. And, if they can get away with it, many use the process to better their deal.

"Some buyers view their inspector's report as a chance for a second round of negotiations. They see problems cited on the inspection report as an opportunity to cut their price for the property," Tyson says.

In especially hot markets, a small number of buyers are now voluntarily waiving their right to an inspection to make their offer more competitive. Still, it's unwise for sellers to try to talk buyers out of their own home inspection. In fact, smart sellers may wish to pay for their own inspection even before the property goes on the market, especially if their house is more than 10 years old.

"The sellers' inspector probably won't detect the same small problems as the buyers' inspector will. But both should identify really serious issues," Tyson says.

-- Try to avoid troublesome people when doing a deal.

Obviously, not all sellers are lucky enough to receive multiple bids for their property. But if you're reasonably certain you'll have more than one offer from which to choose, try to avoid cutting a deal with "difficult people."

Perhaps you'll never have face-to-face contact with your potential buyers. But your listing agent or others will likely meet them when they visit your place. And their behavior can be very telling.

"If the buyers make disparaging comments as they walk through the house, that's a red flag," Tyson says.

By avoiding difficult buyers, Tyson says you may spare yourself needless anxiety and conflict.

"It doesn't matter how great the buyers look on paper. If they're jerks at the beginning, they'll probably be jerks to the bitter end of your deal," he says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)

In the aftermath of the recession, the home improvement industry has roared back. That's decreased the availability of skilled contractors, including plumbers, electricians and carpenters, among others.

"Right now, it's hard to find good contractors that aren't slammed with work. We're experiencing a big deficit of skilled tradesman," says H. Dale Contant, president of the National Association of the Remodeling Industry.

Sid Davis, a real estate broker and author of "Home Makeovers That Sell," recommends that sellers in need of pre-sale remodeling take a strategic approach to finding and vetting contractors to help prep their property for sale.

"It's probably a mistake to hire your brother-in-law, even if he offers you a cut-rate price. Likewise, you probably won't do well with that random guy who hangs a flier on your front door," Davis says.

Here are a few pointers for sellers:

-- Don't necessarily take the lowest available bid.

Marty Schirber, who led his family-owned remodeling company for 45 years, says the cheapest bid for a home improvement job doesn't guarantee the best deal for the homeowner.

"An unusually low bid may be cause for alarm," he says, noting that it could indicate that the contractor doesn't fully grasp the project's scope. It could also reflect inexperience or an underestimation of the cost of labor and materials.

In the worst-case scenario, Schirber says, the low bid could mean the contractor is "planning to cut corners by using inferior materials, low-paid, inexperienced workers, or not following local building codes."

On the other hand, he occasionally encounters people who've had horrific experiences working with high-priced contractors.

He says the key is to present all the bidders with specifications for your jobs and then to ask each to break out the charges on a line-by-line basis.

Those seeking online pointers on contractor selection may wish to visit the website of a company called Ask the Builder, at www.askthebuilder.com

-- Nail your contractor down on all the details.

Once you've chosen your contractor, it's time to get all aspects of your project down in writing.

"The contract should convey to everyone involved what the finished product will look like," Schirber says.

Among other elements, this document should spell out a summary of the work, as well as provisions for permits, estimated starting and completion dates and a schedule of payments. It should also include procedures for handling change orders.

-- Generate a list of possible contractors for pre-sale repairs.

Many people dislike arduous legwork involved in trying to locate contractors. But R. Dodge Woodson, author of "Tips & Traps for Hiring a Contractor," advises against using the Yellow Pages or online advertising for this purpose.

A more reliable approach, he says, is to seek out recommendations from acquaintances who've had work done on their own homes.

"Ask everyone you know. Treat this like a treasure hunt," Woodson says.

Eric Tyson, co-author of "House Selling for Dummies," recommends you request contractors' names through local real estate agents.

"Realtors have lots of dealings with contractors and should be able to distinguish the good from the bad," he says.

Also, contractors may be more attentive to your project if they know you could complain about their work to the agent, which could limit their chances for repeat business.

-- Solicit names from neighbors you know and respect.

As Davis says, a ready source of contractors' names can be found right in your own neighborhood.

"Through the grapevine ... you can pick up the names of people who do excellent work. You can also rule out those who do lousy work," he says.

One novel way of getting referrals from nearby residents is to throw a neighborhood party and ask all who attend to bring along the name of at least one contractor they like.

-- Look beyond a single bid.

Woodson, who's worked much of his career as a licensed plumber and also ran a home improvement business, strongly recommends that homeowners obtain five estimates for any major work, particularly for any job worth over $5,000.

"It's ideal to get more than three bids. That way you'll have a larger pool with which to do comparisons," he says.

Once you have all your estimates lined up, Woodson suggests you eliminate anyone charging more than 20 percent above the median. Also, toss out anyone charging 20 percent less.

-- Survey a contractor's work by visiting other clients' homes.

After you've narrowed the contractors' field with a comparison of price estimates, you might think your next step is to ask any company you're considering for photos of completed work that could be sent to you by email. But Woodson says this is usually a "pointless exercise."

"Anyone can just take pictures off the internet. That doesn't prove anything," he says.

To get a better sense of a contractor's work, ask to visit homes where that firm is now working or where it has recently completed jobs.

"If a contractor won't give you references you can go visit, you've got to wonder what they're hiding," Woodson says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)