Some longtime renters have tried unsuccessfully for years to save money toward their dream of homeownership. What stops them? In many cases the problem is out-of-control spending.

"If your goal is to buy a house, compulsive spending can stop you from ever reaching that goal," says Judith Briles, the author of "Money Smarts For Turbulent Times."

Carried to an extreme, overspending can impoverish you and lead to broken relationships.

"Watch for red flags that you have a serious problem -- such as that you can no longer make your rent or minimum payments on your credit cards," Briles says.

In such severe cases, she says you may need to consult a therapist to help resolve your issues or join a support group such as Debtors Anonymous.

"In spite of economic problems in this country, a nice home is still a dream for people at all income levels. People still want the freedom and autonomy of owning a place that suits their lifestyle," says Judy Lawrence, a budget coach and author of "The Money Tracker: Find the Cash to Get What You Really Want."

Here are a few pointers for buyers:

-- Document your spending and then trim expenses where possible.

The technique of doing a budget, often called a "spending plan," isn't difficult, but requires close attention to detail, Lawrence says.

Before deciding where you can and can't curb your spending, you must first see clearly where your money is now going. You don't need an elaborate software program for this. Personal finance specialists say a pencil-and-paper system is often your best bet when creating a budget, especially if you're a novice at the process.

"Look at your recent checking account and credit card statements and then write down what you've spent for the last three months, breaking your expenses into two broad groupings: mandatory and discretionary," Lawrence says.

Mandatory costs include items like car payments and childcare expenses. Discretionary items include restaurant tabs and clothing outlays. After tracking your prior spending, search within the discretionary section for low-priority items that could be cut.

A couple who dreamed of buying a small but elegant 1920s-era bungalow found a number of expenses they could cut with little pain. The wife, a marketing administrator, slashed her clothing bills and her husband, a therapist, gave up his season baseball tickets. The couple also canceled their membership in a wine-tasting club and drastically reduced their restaurant spending.

The savings soon piled up, ultimately allowing the couple in this true story to replace a series of small spending pleasures with the much larger reward of owning their ideal city home, located near a verdant city park.

"A budget is simply a way to control small expenses now so you can savor bigger pleasures later," says Lawrence, who offers money management tips on her website, moneytracker.com.

-- Bypass budget busters on the way to your money goal.

Of course, it's not enough to create a spending plan if you don't stay on track and remain faithful to it. That means depositing money in savings every time you get paid and avoiding temptations to veer off-course.

Lawrence recommends that people trying to stay on a tight budget jot down all their expenditures as they make them. This should increase your awareness of where your money is going. Then make sure you enter all these expenses in your budget book.

Are you a shopaholic who gets a high from making purchases, but later wonders why you bought all that non-essential stuff? If so, Lawrence urges you to follow the "24-hour rule." When going shopping (for anything but food), leave your cash and credit cards at home. Make your selections, but allow yourself at least one full day to decide what items are truly essential and then return to the store to purchase only these.

-- Limit eating-out costs both small and large.

It's no secret that many people overspend due to frequent visits to coffee shops like Starbucks, a realization that prompted the chain to offer brews for frugal folks. But many people still remain unaware of how much they're spending for weekday lunches and fine dining.

Nearly every financial adviser recommends that clients take a close look at their "eating out" expenses. As Lawrence says, many people find this a black hole and realize, upon reflection, that more cooking at home could dramatically reduce their food expenses.

-- Contain your generosity, at least until you reach your savings goal.

Lawrence, who does one-on-one money coaching, also urges clients to be extremely watchful about another group of expenses known as "gifts." Birthdays and holidays cause many to let go of their purse strings for emotional reasons.

Before you buy any gifts, Lawrence suggests you write down what you intend to spend and then use the "24-hour rule" to stay within your shopping limits. Also, watch out for emotional reactions that could undermine your gift-giving plans.

"Many people give big gifts because they want to feel loved or appreciated, or maybe to gain attention. But this practice could seriously hamper your savings plans. Also, large gifts can make the receivers uncomfortable --especially if they can't afford to reciprocate," Lawrence says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)

For several years, economists have cautioned that mortgage rates could rise as the U.S. economy continues its economic recovery. But to date, rates have stayed near historic lows -- in part due to volatility in China and uncertainty about the U.S. oil industry.

That's tempting many homeowners to refinance while rates are still favorable. Most refinancers seek to lower their monthly payments, while others want to do a "cash-out refi" to consolidate bills, buy a new car or tackle a major home improvement project.

Would refinancing be a wise move for you? That depends, says Keith Gumbinger, a vice president at HSH Associates, which tracks mortgage rates throughout the country.

"Before you do a refi, you've got to do the math. How much equity do you have in the house? What would it cost to do the new loan? And how long would your new term stretch out?" Gumbinger says.

Regrettably, there are still a fair number of would-be refinancers who can't take advantage of low mortgage rates because they have little or no equity in their property. But for potential refinancers with a positive stake, here are a few pointers:

-- Take your time in shopping for the right lender.

Since the financial downturn, the federal government has become increasingly involved in the mortgage market. The result is that government-backed mortgages now represent the bulk of all home loans made in the United States. Meanwhile, there's been a decline in the number of mortgage brokers -- intermediaries between consumers and bankers -- operating in the field.

"A lot of mortgage brokers are gone. But more of the brokers and lenders who are left are real pros in their field," says Guy Cecala, the CEO of Inside Mortgage Finance Publications, which publishes industry newsletters and reports.

More stringent lending standards mean homeowners face a greater risk that their mortgage application will be denied. To reduce your risk of rejection, Cecala urges you to choose your lender carefully.

"You always want to shop around, not only for the best possible rates and fees but also for a lender who offers good service and processing speed," he says.

-- Use referrals to help you select the best lender.

Unlike those seeking a mortgage for a home purchase, those seeking to refinance don't have the benefit of a list of lenders handed to them by a real estate agent. But there's no reason that refinancers can't also turn to local real estate agents.

As Cecala says, agents are in a good position to know which lenders will offer the smoothest and swiftest loan processing. After all, they work with lenders year after year and need to identify those most likely to get their deals to the finish line on time.

"Contact at least three different types of lenders before making your selection. Try to include on your list one mortgage broker, one major bank and one smaller bank or credit union," Cecala says.

-- Don't give out your Social Security number prematurely.

Of course, no quality lender will guarantee that your mortgage rate has been locked in without first pulling your credit scores. But that doesn't mean you should give out your Social Security number, a credit-score requirement, while you're still comparison shopping.

You shouldn't have to release your private information just for routine rate shopping. And getting your credit checked too often can hurt your scores.

"You need to be guarded about your private information," Gumbinger says.

-- Try to steer clear of "junk fees."

There are a number of costs and fees involved in refinancing, and only some of them are imposed by lenders. These lender-based fees include the cost for a home appraisal and a copy of your credit report. Also, other charges, often called "junk fees," are imposed by the lender.

To better protect consumers, the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development has set tighter rules to let borrowers compare lenders on the basis of their charges. As a result, HUD now requires lenders to give borrowers an early and accurate listing of their closing costs.

But Gumbinger says it's up to consumers to carefully compare a lender's charges before deciding whether to proceed. To do this, it's important to study a copy of the lender's estimate of closing costs. This standard form, which was recently updated by federal regulators, should list all the fees you'd pay at closing, with a very small margin for changes. The lender must give you this estimate shortly after you apply for a mortgage.

By carefully reviewing your estimated fees, you'll have a chance to ask for lower charges or to change lenders to get a better deal.

Though mortgage lenders face ever-stricter disclosure requirements in recent years, their fees have also climbed because of their heavier workloads, according to Gumbinger.

"Remember that what constitutes a junk fee -- versus a legitimate business charge -- is always in the eye of the beholder," he says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)

For most young adults, few financial trade-offs are more challenging than deciding between spending money on a magical wedding and saving toward the purchase of a first home. But consumer advocates say you can have both --assuming you plan ahead and set priorities.

Alan Fields, the co-author of books on both real estate and weddings, says in recent years the median cost of a traditional wedding has finally leveled off at $28,000. But in most popular neighborhoods, median house prices continue to rise, albeit at a slowing pace.

Fields, the co-author of "Bridal Bargains," says it's much easier for would-be homebuyers to hold the line on wedding expenses than to save for a home purchase. For your nuptials, the key is to plan ahead and keep powerful emotions from causing you to overspend on your big day.

Many first-time homebuyers can now obtain low-to-no-down-payment mortgages, as well as help with closing costs. But they still face cash needs to complete a housing transition -- from moving expenses to the cost of window coverings, paint, and basic furnishings.

"You can expect to spend at least 2 percent of the original price of the house within a year after moving in," says Fields, co-author "Your New House."

But there's no need to surrender the chance to buy a first home in order to have a memorable wedding. Here are a few pointers:

-- Ask your parents to help fund the house rather than the wedding.

Customarily, the bride's parents cover the cost of a wedding. However, as Fields says, many parents are just as willing to spend a similar amount to help their grown children fulfill their housing aspirations. Sometimes it's only a matter of asking.

Redirecting some of your parents' munificence away from the wedding and toward real estate could, for example, mean the difference between buying a condo-apartment and a detached house, Fields says.

-- Consider a faraway wedding as a possible money saver.

Within recent years, there's been a surge of interest in what are known as "destination weddings," which occur some distance from the couple's home turf, says JoAnn Gregoli, a long-time New York City-based wedding and events planner and co-author of "The Knot Guide to Destination Weddings."

While the idea of traveling to a distant location may sound expensive, for prospective homebuyers, one big (and often surprising) advantage of a destination wedding is the potential for substantial cost savings. Fields says much of the savings is due to the fact that fewer guests are likely to attend.

"The usual destination wedding involves just 15 to 20 close family members and friends, compared with 100 or more at your typical hometown wedding. This can translate into overall savings of 40 percent for the bride and groom --assuming they don't pay for the travel expenses of family members or guests," he says.

What's more, the marrying couple often honeymoon in the same location where the wedding occurs, meaning their transportation costs for the honeymoon will already be covered, he says. But Fields cautions that the choice of an exotic wedding destination, such as Bali, would quickly gobble up your cost savings, as would a long invitation list.

-- Look for savings on wedding flowers, reception costs and dresses.

During her many years as a wedding planner, Gregoli has noticed that the tab for flowers has risen steadily. One reason is that couples show an increasing preference for the kind of exotic flowers that must be custom-ordered and then flown in from vendors outside the country.

"When you start flying in exotic flowers, you're talking a lot more expense than if you use locally grown flowers that are in season when your wedding occurs," she says.

Gregoli says couples who choose flowers from abroad can run up a floral bill of $25,000 or more. In some housing markets, saving that sum could mean the ability to buy a home with one more bathroom than you could otherwise afford.

For money-conscious couples intent on buying a home, Gregoli says substantial savings can be found by limiting the time period an open bar is provided for guests during a wedding reception. You can slash your entertainment costs by using a DJ or a small music ensemble rather than a full band. And you can greatly reduce the expense of your wedding dress by finding one at a bridal consignment store or through an online vendor.

"You'd be amazed what wonderful secondhand dresses are available for a fraction of the cost of new ones," Gregoli says.

As long as you set priorities, Fields says the search for bargains won't undermine the quality of your wedding. He says most millennials -- young adults now in their 20s and 30s -- are more interested in having a meaningful wedding than an ostentatious event that costs a fortune.

"For many in this younger generation, the material chase is over. Events are important to them. But they don't perceive having a 'showoff' wedding as a key to their happiness," he says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)