With her children just off to college, a widow in her early 50s tackled a tough question. Should she keep the big family house with high mortgage payments that symbolized security and comfort for her kids? Or should she sell to cut expenses and pursue the dream of leaving her corporate job for interior design school?

"On the one hand, she felt wedged in by her high-paid career. But on the other, she worried her kids would be unhappy if they couldn't return to their old home for summer vacations and holidays," says Savannah Mayfield, the life coach who helped guide the widow through her decision- making process.

After several hours sifting through the pros and cons, the widow finally decided to sell, which proved the happier choice in her case.

Mark Nash, author of "1001 Tips for Buying and Selling a Home," tells the true story of his mother, a longtime homemaker who became single soon after all three of her children left home for college.

"It was only after she sold our family's large house and moved to a place less than half that size that she was free to explore her strong interest in bridge. Eventually, she got so good at bridge that she became a competitive bridge player who won several national tournaments," Nash says.

But while selling the family home is the best option for many women with grown kids, it's not the right choice for all. Nor is it always the best plan for empty-nest men who live alone, he says.

"Sometimes there's lots of regret about a decision to downsize from a large house to a condo. People miss the sense ... of control that comes from owning a detached house. Also, others miss the people they knew in the old neighborhood and never feel at ease in the new environment," Nash says.

Here are a few pointers for single empty nesters considering a sale:

-- First consider the money issues around your decision.

In recent years, many breadwinners have experienced a decline in income. Moreover, some still haven't recovered all of the home equity they lost when the real estate bubble burst, Nash notes.

"With so much at stake, along with the rising cost of college and retirement, single parents can't afford to put on blinders when it comes to financial matters," he says.

He encourages single parents considering a home sale to consult a trusted financial adviser or accountant before moving forward.

Prior to a session in your adviser's office, he recommends you spend time with your checkbook and credit card statements to analyze the full cost of your house per year.

When choosing a financial adviser, Mayfield encourages her clients to select a "fee-only" professional who's compensated directly by clients rather than through the sale of life insurance or other financial products.

"Because of how they're paid, fee-only planners are in a position to give you more objective and impartial advice. Ideally, they'll be free of conflicts of interest," she says.

One source of referrals to fee-only planners is through the website of the National Association of Personal Financial Advisors (www.napfa.org).

-- Consider a possible sale in the context of your holistic life plan.

Often, people see their real estate choices in isolation from the larger issues of their lives, says Michael Knight, a financial planner affiliated with the Garrett Planning Network, which is comprised solely of fee-only planners (www.garrettplanningnetwork.com). But he says all major financial decisions should be made with lifestyle values in mind.

Nash says it's sometimes a good bet to turn to an experienced real estate agent (who doesn't push you to sell) rather than to a friend or family member.

"Those closest to you probably have the best of intentions. But they aren't always the most impartial. If you don't feel comfortable confiding in a real estate person, consider engaging the services of a life coach or therapist," he says.

-- Glide into your action plan rather than hurrying ahead.

Nash, like many veterans of the real estate business, knows it can be a mistake to hurry into a home sale soon after a life-altering event, like the death of a spouse or a marital breakup. For many single parents, this is an especially traumatic period if the event occurs around the time their children are leaving home.

"When the last child leaves, some parents have such a let-down feeling that their judgment is clouded. Some even go through a temporary identity crisis," he says.

Nash recommends that single parents with the option of postponing a decision on a house sale wait at least six to 12 months after the kids move out before deciding whether to hold or sell a longtime residence.

"If you can wait, let the dust settle prior to finalizing any firm moving plans," he says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)

Every real estate agent has stories about late-night calls from clients who "just can't take it anymore." They're stressed out by the constant need to keep their property in showcase condition until it sells. That means not a single toy on the floor, dish in the sink or wrinkle on a bedroom comforter.

"Even sellers who aren't really slobs can go nuts from all that pressure for perfection," says Tom Early, a veteran real estate broker.

The longer the selling time, he says, the more stress on those who live in the home.

"After a month of showings, the strain really builds up for families with kids," says Early, a past president of the National Association of Exclusive Buyer Agents (www.naeba.org).

But he says sellers should strongly resist the urge to let go of upkeep during the showing period.

"Inevitably, the day you let down your guard is the day when serious prospects come through. You never want them to see your dirty boxers on the bedroom floor," Early says.

Here are a few suggestions for sellers:

-- Start your listing with your place in clutter-free condition.

Vicki Norris, a professional organizer and former real estate agent, knows how hard it can be to keep a home in showing shape. This is particularly difficult when the place must be sold for a compelling financial or health issue.

"This can lead to what I call 'situational disorganization,' which occurs when life takes you off track," says Norris, who heads her own consulting firm, Restoring Order (www.restoringorder.com).

Norris urges sellers to thoroughly de-clutter before heading into the market. That means sorting through all your superfluous belongings and removing those items you can do without until your move. It also means consolidating your remaining possessions.

"For example, collect all those CDs and DVDs lying around the house and put them in single well-defined entertainment area. Then do the same for your books, toys and other like items," says Norris, author of "Reclaim Your Life and Get Organized for Good."

To expedite the de-cluttering process, you may wish to turn to a professional organizer, who is likely to prove less judgmental than the friends and family members willing to volunteer. One source for referrals is the National Association of Professional Organizers (www.napo.net).

-- Stash excess belongings in a rented storage unit.

Sid Davis, a real estate broker and author of "A Survival Guide to Selling a Home," tells the true story of a retired schoolteacher in her 60s who wanted to sell her large, two-story family house. But he cautioned her that her house wouldn't be marketable until she removed the lifetime of accumulations that crowded her living and dining rooms.

One approach is to pack your collections in cardboard boxes, stacking these neatly in your garage. Yet as Davis says, many sellers are better off carting those boxes, along with excess furniture, to a rented storage unit.

"Lots of buyers now view a garage as a room they could decorate and convert to added living space. But storing a lot of stuff in there makes the garage looked cramped," he says. Moreover, there are other advantages to off-site storage.

"You're far less likely to be tempted to retrieve items -- like that gourmet waffle iron you hanker for on Sunday mornings -- if they're kept in off-site storage rather than in your garage," Davis says.

-- Invest in high-quality cleaning services.

Are you a home seller who's admittedly oblivious to cobwebs and dust balls, yet who knows the importance of presenting a property in a clean condition? If so, you may wish to invest in what Davis terms a "super-duper cleaning."

Though it could cost a few hundred dollars, one in-depth cleaning could spare you the need to repeat the process for another 60 to 90 days, though light cleaning, as Davis stresses, must be tended to on a daily basis.

-- Hold a family meeting to discuss upkeep issues.

After a home has been on the market for several weeks, its owners sometimes lose focus. Unwashed clothes are left in the laundry room, junk mail stacks up on kitchen counters and sneakers remain on the floor in front of the TV.

"As the days pass, it's natural to start losing your vigilance. Nobody wants to live very long in that 'camping out' mentality," Davis says.

Children especially need to be reminded of the reasons a home must be kept clean and orderly. One way to drive home this point is for all in the household to take part in a family meeting designed to refocus on their goal.

"Tell the kids you understand that it's annoying to be constantly reminded to stay tidy. But try to get their cooperation by asking for their ideas on how to keep the house straightened up," Davis says.

Although he says children under 12 are often willing to cooperate, Davis says teenagers can be extremely resistant, especially if they don't want to move.

"Sometimes I have to tell sellers to put a note on the door of a teenager's room to say it's off-limits to visitors and explaining why. Amazingly, a lot of buyers are OK with that, especially if they have teens of their own," he says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)

James Hughes is one of a cohort of Americans who still loves owning a large plot of land, no matter how long a commute it imposes. He lives on a 13-acre parcel a full hour's drive from his office.

"Some people just like the sanctuary feel of lots of land," says Hughes, a real estate expert and dean at Rutgers University.

Hughes has no intention of selling his place anytime soon. But if he did, he believes he'd face considerable difficulty finding buyers who value living on a big, high-maintenance property as much as he does.

"Country settings have lost their allure for a lot of older people. They want to live where they can walk to restaurants, movie theaters and museums. They don't want to be trapped in an auto-dependent area," Hughes says.

But just as the sellers of remotely located properties and their listing agents often find it problematic to locate buyers, so do those who own a house in a city setting with only a postage stamp-sized lot or smaller.

The reality is that many current homebuyers want the best of both worlds -- the convenience of in-town living along with a patch of ground they can call their own. This makes it tough for sellers on both ends of the land-size spectrum.

Here are a few pointers:

-- Stress the best features of a city property with a tiny yard.

Maybe both the interior and exterior of your property are diminutive in size. Even so, your place could still be very saleable due to its urban setting.

Does your city home offer easy commuting access to major employment centers? Are neighborhood schools close enough that children can walk? Also, are popular shopping venues just a short distance away? If so, you and your listing agent should talk up these advantages in your marketing materials.

As Hughes says, one way to help potential buyers appreciate your location is to create a colorful map that puts your home in context with neighborhood amenities. This could be placed on an easel on display in your dining room.

You may also want to exhibit photos showing nearby parks and biking trails, which are increasingly important to fitness-minded homebuyers, as well as to those with small children.

"In city parks, there are now more and more jogging strollers in use," Hughes says.

-- Highlight your interior space if your city lot is tiny.

Mark Nash, a longtime real estate broker and author of "1001 Tips for Buying & Selling a Home," says a "surprising number of family buyers can be persuaded to accept the trade-off of a very small lot if the house is loaded with bells and whistles inside." A large kitchen that flows into a high-ceilinged family room would be one such plus.

Another big draw is lots of storage space, he says, "so if you have great walk-in closets and huge kitchen cabinets, don't keep all that a secret."

-- Market your country home through a "broker's open."

Perhaps your property is surrounded by several acres of land in a bucolic area with flowering gardens, yet it's located far enough outside the city that it's hard to draw prospects to your distant location.

If that's the case, Nash recommends you ask your listing agent to stage one or more "brokers' opens" at the place. These are open houses to which real estate agents throughout the general area are invited. They typically feature food, entertainment or both.

"If your place looks gorgeous and gets exposed to many agents, they'll spread the word and bring interested clients by," Nash says.

-- Tout highway access to the country house you're selling.

The cost of gas isn't the only factor that discourages many buyers from considering a property in a country location. It's also the time a long commute can absorb.

"Dual-career couples are more time-stretched than ever. They don't want to get stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic when they could get back and forth to work a lot faster," Nash says.

But as any long-distance truck driver will tell you, not all roadways are created equal. If your property has easy access to a major highway that's not traffic-ridden, then Nash says you should make sure potential buyers know this.

"You'll never attract hard-core urbanites to a rural location. But you can ease the minds of country dreamers who would consider your place," he says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)