A couple in their mid-40s have lived in a cramped city apartment their whole married life. Yet in their dreams, they own a cottage in the suburbs with blooming flowers and a fenced yard where their young daughter could romp.

Despite a combined salary of more than $150,000, this pair has found it nearly impossible to save for such a home. To understand why, they went to see Sally Palaian, a clinical psychologist who specializes in helping people with money issues. She identified the primary problem as their impulsive shopping habits.

"The woman is an IT professional who can't resist spending more than $500 a month on clothes. And her husband, who works for a health care company, feels compelled to buy the latest and greatest electronic gadgets," says Palaian, who's helping the couple devise a plan to curb spending and save for a modest house.

Palaian, the author of "Spent: Break the Buying Obsession and Discover Your Truth Worth," has worked for more than a decade to help such couples as the above rein in spending.

As Palaian notes, overspending isn't a moral issue. However, when short-term gratification becomes a barrier to financial progress, it can become a significant personal problem.

Here are a few pointers for would-be homebuyers with a weakness for impulsive shopping:

-- Identify the triggers that cause you to make unwise purchases.

Palaian says one of the first steps toward management of shopping impulses is to recognize what prompts you to overspend.

For instance, she says that when tired or sad, many people turn to online shopping as a mood enhancer. Others seek immediate gratification from the momentary thrill of a good sale at a brick-and-mortar store.

Once you've identified the situations and items that make you susceptible, it's time to find other coping strategies, such as finding substitute activities that feel gratifying without breaking the bank. She recommends that compulsive shoppers seek to identify other, non-monetary "pick-me-ups."

"Instead of going out to shop for entertainment, maybe you'd enjoy listening to music, taking a walk in the park or dropping by to see friends," Palaian says.

-- Create and follow a spending plan until you get on track.

Many people think that keeping a budget as a laborious and needless task. But for those who must control spending to reach a big financial goal, it's an essential step to managing outflows.

"People who control their expenses have set aside funds for such intermittent costs as dental care and car repairs," Palaian says.

There are several free or reasonably priced programs to help you track and plan spending, including Mint (www.mint.com) and You Need a Budget (www.youneedabudget.com). But personal finance specialists say a pencil-and-paper system is often your best starting point, especially if you're new to the budgeting process.

"The advantage of a paper system is that it's very concrete, which helps a lot of people," Palaian says.

Judy Lawrence, a budget coach and author of "The Budget Kit: The Common Cents Money Management Workbook," suggests that as a first step you look through your checking account and credit card statements. Then write down what you've spent for the last three months, breaking out expenses into two broad groupings: mandatory and discretionary.

Mandatory costs include such items as car payments and child care expenses. Discretionary costs include clothing outlays and restaurant tabs.

"Don't be afraid of having a spending plan. This is simply a way to control small expenses now so you can savor bigger pleasures later," says Lawrence, who offers money management tips on her website: www.moneytracker.com.

-- Wait until your shopping impulses fade before you buy.

Are you a compulsive shopper who gets a kick from making purchases, but later regrets buying a lot of non-essential stuff? If so, Lawrence suggests you try what she calls "the 24-hour rule."

When going shopping (for anything but food and other essentials), leave your cash and credit cards at home. Make your selections, but give yourself at least one full day to decide which items are truly essential and then return to the store to purchase only these.

"Some people simply need a cooling-off period before they buy," Lawrence says.

-- Watch your gift and holiday shopping.

When it comes to gifts and holiday purchases -- which can be driven by emotion -- Lawrence advises clients to be especially cautious.

"Some people give large gifts because they want to feel loved or appreciated. But this practice can seriously compromise a savings plan. In addition, big gifts can make the recipients feel very uncomfortable, particularly if they can't afford to reciprocate," Lawrence says.

Before you buy any major gift, Lawrence recommends you write down how much you can afford and then use the "24-hour rule" to stay within your self-imposed limit. Also, watch out for emotional reactions that could cause you to exceed your gift-giving limits.

-- Give yourself visual reminders of a home-buying goal.

Although homeownership remains a paramount objective for many people, Palaian says it's easy for them to take their eyes off the prize when spending temptations beckon. That's why she urges wannabe homeowners to give themselves visual reminders to stay on track.

"Go through magazines to find an image of the sort of house you want and clip this to your credit card. That should help you pause before making an impulsive purchase that could threaten your savings program," she says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)

Last year, when the National Association of Realtors surveyed homebuyers throughout America, it found that single buyers had been especially hard-hit by the restrictive mortgage standards that began during the economic downturn.

According to the survey, the market share of single buyers declined from 32 percent in 2010 to 25 percent in 2013, and stringent lending standards were a major factor in the decline.

But Art Godi, a former president of the NAR (www.realtor.org), says restrictive lending practices are gradually easing and that real estate agents are finding better ways to help their clients to obtain the financing needed to fulfill their home-buying plans.

With both home prices and rental rates rising in many areas, Godi says an increasing number of homebuyers --including numerous singles -- are eager to leave their rental units and buy a first home as soon as possible.

Are you a single person who'd like to buy a home, but worry you'll be turned down because of less-than-stellar credit? If so, Godi recommends you seek mortgage pre-approval through a face-to-face meeting at the office of a local lender, such as a community bank or credit union.

"If you use a national bank, you usually don't get to talk directly to the lender. But with a local lender, you're more likely to have a chance to tell your story," Godi says.

Here are a few other pointers for single homebuyers:

-- Opt for a mortgage that keeps you within your financial comfort zone.

Many homeowners who faced foreclosure during the worst of the recession had used an adjustable-rate mortgage to finance their purchase. They were able to qualify for an introductory "teaser rate" on the home loan. But once the ARM adjusted upward, they were in over their heads.

Like all homebuyers, singles are now understandably resistant to taking an ARM, even though it could let them qualify for a larger mortgage than they could have obtained with a traditional fixed-rate loan. Still, some lenders are again beginning to promote ARMs.

As a single homebuyer, should you consider an ARM to increase your buying capacity? Merrill Ottwein, a former president of the National Association of Exclusive Buyer Agents (www.naeba.org), argues against that step.

"A fixed-rate mortgage gives you certainty your monthly principle and interest payments will remain constant for as long as you keep that loan. But with an ARM, you have interest-rate risk. And if rates rise, you get smacked," says Ottwein, a longtime real estate broker who works solely with homebuyers.

He also warns all buyers, and especially young singles, against taking any mortgage (fixed or adjustable) that feels uncomfortably large.

"People who are house-poor suffer a lot of fear and anxiety about making their payments, which is a terrible way to live," Ottwein says.

Even in an era of tight credit, many single buyers who make it through the mortgage pre-approval process are surprised to realize that they're qualified for a larger mortgage than anticipated. To avoid over-borrowing, Ottwein suggests you set your own upper limit rather than letting the lender do so.

"Decide on your ceiling before you go looking at houses or condos. If you need a reminder, write that number on an index card and carry it around with you," he says.

-- Look for a home that a roommate could share.

Young singles used to sharing rental housing with roommates are often eager to live alone when they buy a home. Despite that, Ottwein recommends they consider buying a property they could share with a boarder, which would allow them that option in the future.

"Down the line, you might want an extra bedroom you could rent out to help offset your mortgage payments. In addition, if you choose to sell, a house or condo with two or three bedrooms is more marketable than one with just a single bedroom," Ottwein says.

What sort of floor plan works best to accommodate a roommate? He recommends you look for a place with a bedroom suite that includes a private bath. Also, a separate, outside entrance to the suite is ideal.

-- Choose an energy-efficient place.

Some expenses tied to homeownership, such as taxes and insurance, can't be avoided. But home shoppers can more easily contain their utility bills if they choose a property that's well-insulated and has substantial, double- or triple-pane windows.

Before they commit to buying a particular home, Ottwein suggests that buyers ask their home inspector to evaluate the energy efficiency of the property they've chosen. He also recommends they ask the current owners for copies of their utility bills.

In addition, Ottwein advises buyers to update themselves on the topic of energy-efficient housing through online resources. One website that provides an array of information on the topic, www.energystar.gov, is sponsored by the U.S. Department of Energy, along with the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency.

-- Make your friends a priority when you buy.

If you're like most single people, your personal life is of vital importance to you. But even though you may outpace your friends in achieving homeownership, you won't want to move to an area that makes it difficult to keep up your social life.

In an age of texting and email, it's not necessary to live around the corner from friends to stay in close touch. But, if possible, you'll want to avoid buying a property many miles from friends, even if that's your most affordable option, Ottwein says.

"You won't be happy if you're isolated from your friends. So don't buy a house so far away that you'll strain these important relationships," he says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)

The owners of a small split-level -- a high-school history teacher and his homemaker wife -- were at wits' end. To house their growing family, the couple was eager to sell their house and move to a larger space. But even as nearby properties were flying off the market, their place languished unsold. After six months, they decided to regroup.

An analysis by the couple's real estate agent indicated the house was correctly priced. Instead, the agent pinpointed the problem as the kitchen, which looked dated and needed a minor facelift. In response, the couple went into overdrive -- spending more than $18,000 on a major remodeling job that included new high-end cabinets and fine Italian-tile floors. They also installed all new stainless steel appliances, though the white ones in the house were still very presentable.

Soon after the renovation, the house sold. But Sid Davis, a real estate broker and author of "A Survival Guide to Selling a Home, insists the extensive kitchen renovation was "total overkill."

"These sellers spent vastly more money than necessary to make that house saleable," he says.

Though he wasn't the listing agent for the property, Davis visited it several times with potential buyers, both before and after the renovation. And he insists the couple could have done equally well with just $2,500 in kitchen improvements.

"Instead of blowing their budget and recouping a small fraction of their outlays, they could have achieved their goal by simply refinishing their existing cabinets and putting in fresh linoleum flooring," Davis says.

The moral of this true story, he says, is that expensive pre-sale improvements are rarely warranted, except for properties in very exclusive areas where buyer expectations are high.

"Why throw cash around needlessly? The sad reality is that sellers never get the chance to enjoy the expensive improvements they do before they move," Davis says.

How can sellers determine which upgrades will result in a winning sale and which will simply waste their money? Davis says it's smart to evaluate the competition before putting money into upgrades.

"Ask your listing agent to take you on a tour of all the available homes in your immediate vicinity. Create a list of the pros and cons of each property. That will help you clarify what changes are really needed to make your place show-worthy," he says.

Here are a few pointers for sellers:

-- Resist the temptation to overspend on kitchen improvements.

Of all the potential upgrades in a home, Davis says sellers are most likely to go off-course in the kitchen. That's because contractors who specialize in kitchen remodeling are often involved in extensive projects and are likely to recommend more work than is needed to sell.

"Cost overruns for kitchen improvements are rampant. Granted, your kitchen can make or break your sale. But you don't have to spend a fortune to make it look wonderful," Davis says.

For example, he says many dark kitchen cabinets, which are unappealing to contemporary buyers, can be easily refreshed by simply sanding and repainting them in high-gloss white.

For an updated look, Davis also recommends that sellers replace worn kitchen cabinet pulls and knobs with handsome new hardware in satin nickel or oil-rubbed bronze. Such hardware can be obtained inexpensively through home center stores or online retailers.

-- Embrace fresh paint as a highly cost-effective upgrade.

Paint is one of the most powerful and reasonably priced tools available to sellers seeking to maximize the impact of their pre-sale dollars, says Elisa Dewees, a real estate agent who's listed and sold homes since 2000.

Still, she considers it a serious mistake to repaint in what she calls "custom colors." These include such personal choices as rose, bright green or vivid blue.

"Tastes vary widely, and it's very likely that colors which appeal to you will seem unattractive to the buyers who see your place. Remember that the last thing you want is to reduce the number of people who like the look of your house," Dewees says.

She has no financial interest in the Pottery Barn, a home furnishings retailer. But she recommends that home sellers examine the color palette shown in the company's online catalog -- subtle tones she believes reflect current homebuyer tastes. To see the catalog, go to the chain's website: www.potterybarn.com.

-- Improve the lighting in your bathrooms.

It's common for people who've lived in their home for many years to retain their original light fixtures. Indeed, the old light fixtures typically remain even after the tile work and cabinets are redone.

Dewees says that the multiple-bulb Hollywood-style lighting many people still use in their bathrooms doesn't appeal to most current buyers who want a fresher, less retro look.

"It's worth spending the time to search for light fixtures in a stylish, updated design. In many cases you can buy better fixtures for well under $100 per bathroom," she says.

-- Make carpeting a priority.

Ashley Richardson, an agent affiliated with the Council of Residential Specialists (www.crs.com), says many home sellers would prefer to offer buyers a "carpeting allowance" than to replace worn, stained or tired looking carpet. That's more convenient than tackling the project themselves.

But real estate agents often reject this idea, because few buyers can imagine how well the property will look once its old carpeting is replaced.

If you can't afford new carpet for the whole house, she recommends you focus on the areas most visible to visitors, such as the living and family rooms, rather than your smaller bedrooms.

-- Cut back any shrubbery that hides your home.

Some longtime homeowners become extremely fond of the greenery around their property. Even if their trees and shrubs shroud their property and make the interior seem dark, they resist cutting them back, according to Davis.

Pruning isn't usually expensive, unless major tree work is involved. But real estate specialists say that it's paramount because it's very tough to market a property hidden behind overgrown greenery of any kind.

"If people can't fully see a house, they can't appreciate it. And if they can't appreciate it, they'll never buy it," Davis says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)