For years, a couple in their early 50s -- an IT manager married to a nurse -- yearned to leave their ho-hum house for a historic place with charm and character. So after paying off their only child's last college bill, they hurriedly snapped up a handsome Tudor cottage for a price that seemed affordable at the time. But their sweet dream soon soured.

As it turned out, the centenarian cottage had horrendous issues and needed a huge array of costly repairs, including a new roof and replacement flooring. Plus it had extensive termite damage that needed fixing. Unfortunately, the couple lacks the funds for all that work and is now in a quandary about what to do next.

This true story illustrates what happens when homebuyers in a rush fail to think through the implications of their housing choices, says Merrill Ottwein, a veteran real estate broker.

"There's nothing inherently wrong with moving quickly when buying a home. But you have to first make sure you've assembled all the information you need for a sound decision," says Ottwein, a past president of the National Association of Exclusive Buyer Agents (www.naeba.org).

Buying a fixer-upper without sufficient forethought is one mistake made by some budget-minded buyers who believe this could be a viable way to shoehorn themselves into a prized neighborhood for a low price. But he cautions that "fixers" often require far more money and work than their buyers believe.

"The problems you see on the surface could be just a small hint of what's hidden behind the walls in terms of plumbing, electrical or structural problems," he says.

Ottwein urges any homebuyer considering a fixer to obtain reliable estimates on the cost of restoring the property. To get a sense of potential repair costs, your home inspector can help with estimates, and your real estate agent should be willing to help you arrange with contractors for bids.

Are you convinced you could handle the rehab work yourself? If so, Ottwein recommends you do a reality check by canvassing friends who know you well. Ask them if they think this big do-it-yourself project would be a good option for you -- both in terms of your skill level and available free time.

"Your friends can help you gain perspective on the possible pitfalls," he says.

Here are a few pointers for homebuyers who want to ensure they make the right choices:

-- Exercise caution before buying into a long commute.

Despite a moderation in home prices in recent years, it's no secret that housing is still a major expense for those on tight budgets -- especially first-time buyers with moderate incomes. Because of that, some buyers make tough trade-offs they later come to regret. For example, Ottwein says it's not unusual for some buyers to accept a punishing commute to a distant community in order to buy a large house.

"Some people say they don't care how far they have to drive to get all the bells and whistles they want. But then they call us back six months or a year later to say they can't stomach that killer commute anymore," he says.

How long a commute is too long? That depends on the buyers involved and the type of commute. For example, driving in heavy stop-and-start traffic can become far more tiring than one on a free-flowing highway.

-- Think carefully before taking an adjustable-rate mortgage.

Keith Gumbinger, a vice president at HSH Associates, which tracks mortgage markets throughout the U.S., says that despite the extremely low rates now available on fixed-rate mortgages, some homebuyers who are close to the line on affordability are still drawn to adjustable-rate mortgages.

Of course, the opening interest rate on an ARM is slightly lower than that for a comparable fixed-rate home loan. And in the case of "hybrid" ARMs, the opening rate is guaranteed to stay fixed for three, five or even 10 years before adjusting. Still, as Gumbinger says, all ARM borrowers expose themselves to the risk of higher rates in the future.

"You'd better have lots of assets to protect yourself against the risk that your mortgage payments could skyrocket in the future," Gumbinger says.

-- Take a love-hate look at your present housing situation.

During his several decades in real estate, Ottwein says he's been struck by the intensity of peoples' feelings about the place where they live. An assessment of these feelings is a good starting point for setting priorities.

"Sit down and write out the good and bad in your present residence. Then make a list of features you've got to have, would like to have, or are willing to give up," Ottwein says.

"Almost everyone has limits on what they can afford. So it's crucial you set a strict price ceiling and face housing trade-offs consciously," Ottwein says.

-- Pick options early when buying in a new subdivision.

If you're planning to purchase a brand-new house, you're likely to be faced with many trade-offs before your contract is written.

"For one package price, some builders give lump sum allowances for anything ranging from lighting fixtures to appliances to landscaping to kitchen cabinets. Anything not included in that package will cost you extra money," Ottwein says.

These choices should be made before the sales contract is written -- but not under pressure from a hurried homebuilder or salesperson.

"To make genuinely solid selections, you may need to take weekend time or a day or two off work to explore the options," Ottwein says.

Those who are indecisive at the outset may find they have to pay a premium price for options they later decide they want.

"Once your contract is signed, you have little leverage left in negotiating with the builder. So you'd better pick the right kitchen cabinets at the beginning," Ottwein says.

New home buyers on a tight budget may wish to defer those items that can be installed later with relative ease, such as landscaping upgrades or window treatments.

"Lock in early those choices that are part of the infrastructure. The other options can wait until you have the funds to put them in yourself," Ottwein says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)

In an increasing number of neighborhoods, property is starting to move off the market more quickly than before, and prices are ascending. Yet in many areas, demand is strongest for detached, single-family houses, while condo sales still lag behind.

"Whether you face a great or not-so-great market for your condo depends on where you live," says Mark Nash, a real estate broker and author of "1001 Tips for Buying and Selling a Home." "In some places sellers must still compete with a lot of short sales and foreclosures at distress prices, so it's harder to get a condo sold."

Selling a condo can be a particularly daunting task if your apartment is a look-alike unit in a complex where many are on the market.

"If your building has 20 one-bedroom apartments available that are similar to yours, you have to differentiate yourself. Buyers will probably only look at three to five units, and your place has to be one of them," Nash says.

Condo sellers who face stiff competition have to think strategically, as do their listing agents. Here are a few pointers:

-- Hang a realistic price tag on your property.

Are you seeking to sell a unit in an area where many new condos have been constructed recently or are in the pipeline? If so, Nash says you'll want to be particularly careful not to set too high a price or your unit could languish unsold for a lengthy time.

"People look at headlines about rising values and think they can push their price. But if you try that with your condo, it will probably just sit there," Nash says.

Owners planning to sell in a complex where many units are on the market should do a careful review of what other apartments -- known as "comparables" or "comps" -- have gone for during the last three to six months.

"You have to walk in the buyer's shoes. The market is stronger, but people refuse to overpay," he says.

-- Make sure your property is visible to real estate agents around your area.

"As always, there are strong niche markets for condos throughout the country. These are markets where turnover is rare and sellers don't have to worry," says Dorcas Helfant, a real estate broker and former president of the National Association of Realtors.

To help get more showings for your condo, Helfant suggests you ask your listing agent to stage one or more "brokers' opens." These are open houses to which all real estate agents in the area are invited. To draw in attendees, they often feature food, entertainment or both.

"Nearly all serious buyers work with agents. If the other agents prescreen your condo and like it, chances are good they'll bring their buyers through, and this could result in a sale," she says.

-- Focus on the demographic group most likely to show interest in your condo.

"People trying to sell an apartment that's matchy-matchy with others in the building have to make sure all their marketing materials their agent produces are very professional looking," Nash says.

One way to create compelling materials is to identify your target audience. Besides the usual advertising materials and brochures, he recommends that your listing agent develop community "resource lists" with your target audience in mind. These can be used as a draw for potential buyers who come through.

For instance, young single buyers might like a lengthy list of restaurants in the area, along with ratings and reviews. Families with an infant or small child might appreciate a roster of nearby day care facilities and nursery schools. And empty nesters could be grateful for information on cultural and recreational venues and events.

-- Give your kitchen pizzazz.

If your condo is like many, you have a small, narrow "galley kitchen" that may look dated. To make such a kitchen more appealing, Nash says it could be worth the investment to spend a few thousand dollars on pre-sale upgrades and then mention these in your Multiple Listing Service entry.

"The listing will draw more people in if you cite popular features like granite countertops or stainless steel appliances," he says.

-- Ponder the possibility of offering incentives for buyers.

Perhaps it sounds crass, but buyers who have a choice of many look-alike condos in the same complex might pick your unit because you're adding a tangible incentive to sweeten the deal, Nash says.

For example, you might offer to pay a "hard cash" amount toward the buyers' closing costs or give them a new big-screen TV.

"Surprisingly, I've seen incentives work to get a condo sold. All other things being equal, the free stuff can motivate buyers to pick one place over another -- even in a building with lots of units for sale," he says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)

Are you a retired or nearly retired person whose life revolves around the grandkids? Do your friends joke that you've scaled back your career to become a "professional grandparent"? Yet are financial concerns now forcing you to sell the big house that's accommodated so many family gatherings?

If so, you might worry that your need to downsize could put your relationships with grandkids in jeopardy. But with thoughtful planning and flexibility, that needn't be the case, says Sue Johnson, the co-author of "Grandloving: Making Memories with Your Grandchildren."

"Children are like puppy dogs. It doesn't matter where you live. What matters most is what you give them from your heart," Johnson says.

After retiring from full-time careers, she and her husband downsized to a lower-cost area within driving distance of all seven of their grandchildren. There they selected a modest ranch-style house on a creek where the whole family can fish and sail.

"We call this house our grandchild magnet. That's because the grandkids were a huge part of why we moved here and they love to visit," Johnson says.

Originally, the couple's three-bedroom house was a one-story place with just a single bathroom. But to accommodate family gatherings, they built on a second story, adding two more bathrooms and an extra bedroom and doing much of the construction work themselves to save money. Despite the addition, the house is still a tight fit when many family members visit.

"The kids are sleeping on cots or sleeping bags on the floor. But everyone has lots of fun," says Johnson, who co-authors a blog on the art of grand-parenting (www.grandloving.com).

Sue Patton Thoele, a semiretired psychotherapist and author of a number of books on family issues, says that although most grandparents would like to own a home that provides recreational attractions for their offspring, that's not always an affordable option.

"Many of us have tremendous financial concerns we didn't have before the recession," Theole says. "And when you're retired, you don't want to have a big mortgage that strangles you and makes money concerns such a huge stressor. So you've got to work within your means."

She urges grandparents to select a place that's both affordable and well suited to their lifestyle -- noting that children adapt easily to new environments.

Here are a few pointers for homebuyers seeking a property that will serve both their needs and those of the extended family:

-- Question whether you need a big yard.

Kay West, a veteran real estate agent and a past president of the Council of Residential Specialists (www.crs.com), spends as much time as possible with her three grandsons, ages 3, 6 and 10, who live nearby.

As West tells her home-buying clients with grandkids, they don't need a lot of outside space to keep them happy. One good substitute is to buy a home in an area with a park nearby. For example, West chose to live just three blocks from a park with a large and colorful playground set that her grandsons enjoy.

-- Find a location on a quiet street, if possible.

West advises home-buying clients with grandchildren to think of the kids' safety when considering the street on which they plan to live.

"Most families prefer a quiet street if they have a choice. Not only is that better for children and pets but it also means less noise and stress," she says.

Protecting children from road hazards is particularly important if the grandparents are providing care for young children or if the kids live with them full-time. As Johnson notes, the number of grandparents who raise children now numbers over 8 million and is increasing.

-- Seek a home with an extra bedroom or suite.

West also encourages homebuyers with large extended families to shop for a property with an extra bedroom, particularly for those with families separated by distance.

"It's much better to put your family up at your home rather than at a hotel. It's way more relaxed that way. And because no one prefers to share a bathroom, it's great to have a guest suite with its own bathroom," she says.

Even homeowners who live near their grandchildren can benefit from a bedroom the kids can call their own. For instance, West has an extra bedroom with three twin beds and a closet full of toys that her grandsons use during overnight visits.

-- Realize that living in a resort area is optional.

Some home-buying grandparents pick a neighborhood with easy access to a recreational venue, such as an ocean beach or an amusement park. Others move near cities with sightseeing opportunities. They hope such lures will prompt their offspring to visit often.

But Theole says grandparents who plan to move shouldn't select a property based on its tourist attractions. That's because most residential areas offer sufficient leisure activities to keep the kids entertained, and grandparents need to think first about their own lifestyle preferences. In addition, families can create their own fun activities around the house, including crafts and games.

-- Don't worry if you live a distance away.

As Johnson notes, many grandparents can't afford to make a long-distance move to be closer to their grandchildren -- especially if the kids live in an area with high-cost housing. Anyway, there's no guarantee your grown children might not make another move later, should their careers cause them to relocate.

But as Johnson notes, there are many ways to stay connected with grandchildren, even if you live a plane ride away and don't have the funds or good health to travel often. Through the book and blog she co-authors, she provides low-cost strategies for staying in close touch.

"There is a multitude of ways to stay connected long distance. You just have to have the right frame of mind and a big heart," she says.

(To contact Ellen James Martin, email her at ellenjamesmartin@gmail.com.)