Only your lender can tell you how much you can spend on a house. But you don’t have to spend that much, and probably shouldn’t. You need some wiggle room -- especially if you’re a first-time buyer.

Broker Steve Godzyk in Manchester, New Hampshire, recently had a client who didn’t heed that warning, and she’s likely to be sorry. A single mother of two, she told Godzyk that after paying the house note, she’s left with no money to have fun or go anywhere with the kids.

During the house-hunt, she’d insisted on searching at the top price her lender said she qualified for. When Godzyk asked why she wouldn’t buy in a lower price range so she would have money left over after paying her mortgage, she replied, “The loan officer said I can buy a home at that price, and I will.”

Being “house poor” is no fun, and it doesn’t take long for a dream house to become a nightmare. And Godzyk’s client appears to be far from alone in shooting for the moon.

A new report from mortgage analytics firm Black Knight found that 1% of all loans taken out in last year’s first quarter were delinquent within six months. Sure, 1% doesn’t sound like a lot in the greater scheme of things, but that’s the most since 2010 -- and an increase of more than 60% over the past two years.

Here’s more proof some buyers are biting off more than they can chew: In another recent study, Clever Real Estate, a site that matches buyers with agents, found that 35% of mortgage complaints submitted to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau in 2018 were from people who were struggling to pay their mortgages, suggesting they were overextended.

It’s even happening in the rental sector, according to Zumper, a leasing platform, which says a third of all millennials spend more than 30% of their incomes -- the standard measure of affordability -- on rent.

Lenders base their decisions about the maximum they will lend on several factors. Credit scores are key, but they also give heavy credence to your debt-to-income ratio, or DTI, which is calculated by dividing your total monthly debt expenses -- like vehicle, credit card and student loan payments -- by your gross monthly income.

Generally, lenders won’t approve mortgages for people who spend more than 43% of their income on recurring monthly payments. But that cutoff “is hardly a steadfast rule,” says Clever Real Estate research analyst Francesca Ortegren, who found that 15% of the loans written in 2018 were to borrowers above that ceiling.

Indeed, Middletown, Connecticut, mortgage broker George Souto says some conventional lenders will go up to 50%, while those pushing government-backed FHA financing will go as high as 55%.

Don’t go that high, though. Why? If you add the cost of your new mortgage to your monthly debt load, it leaves little or nothing for utilities, maintenance, food, gas, clothing, school supplies and all those other things you spend money on, month in and month out -- items your lender doesn’t pay any attention to when calculating your DTI.

“This is an insane way to go into homeownership,” Lise Howe of Keller Williams Capital Properties in Washington, D.C., warned recently on the ActiveRain real estate site. “A lender may approve you for a mortgage at a high amount, but it might not make good financial sense to borrow all that money.”

To avoid debt overload, start by picking your realty agent carefully. Your lender, too. You want to deal with professionals who have your best interests at heart, not their own.

“There are agents who will test your discipline,” says Barbara Todaro of RE/MAX Executive Realty in Franklin, Massachusetts. “If your pre-approval reflects a large number, they’ll start their showings with that luxury home, and everything else will look like a fix-and-flip.”

New Lenox, Illinois, mortgage broker Gene Mundt agrees. “A good lender fulfills a larger role than someone who facilitates a mortgage,” he advises.

Another good step is to prepare two budgets: one so you know exactly what you are spending now, and the other so you’ll know what you will be paying once you buy a house. That way, you won’t be giving your lender the power to determine how much you can spend on your house.

Some items will shift, of course. If you are paying renter’s insurance now, for example, you can forget that number -- but make sure you include an amount for homeowner’s coverage in the second budget. It’s required, as is mortgage insurance. Some of these costs can be included as part of your monthly house payment, but they add substantially to an amount above and beyond principal and interest.

Make sure you include everything, from your cable and internet bills to your cellphone. And allow amounts for food, entertainment, transportation and whatever else you can think of. Later, if you decide to lower some of these expenses or dump them entirely, you can. But at least you’ll know going in what you have going out.

Making these lists will take some time, but it’s well worth it. Budgeting allows borrowers to determine their own fates, advises Ortegren. It’s “a simple way to avoid overspending,” she says.

The nonprofit Consumer Federation of America has once again come down hard on real estate disclosure laws. This time, the group is calling on states to rewrite disclosure laws so they are more understandable, and to give them to buyers and sellers upon their first contact with realty agents.

In its latest report, the CFA says many buyers do not comprehend the written disclosure statements they receive from their agents -- if they receive one at all, or bother to read it.

For one thing, said CFA Senior Fellow (and former executive director) Stephen Brobeck, not knowing whether the agent represents your interests or those of the seller can be costly, because he or she could pass on information you disclosed that would diminish your bargaining power. And for another, an agent, in the interest of making a quick sale, may not show you houses that may be better choices.

“An agent working for the other party could, and may be legally required to, pass on compromising information such as the purchase price you’re prepared to sell for or spend,” he said. “And this agent would have no obligation to find the right buyer or the right house at the right price.”

This isn’t the first time Brobeck and the CFA have taken on the real estate sector. Back in the 1990s, they challenged the use of subagency, in which all other agents were the subagent of the listing agent. That meant that the agent who drove prospects around from house to house was legally bound to pass along information that was disclosed to him, sometimes without telling the buyer.

The use of subagency was subsequently abandoned, and every state set about writing its own disclosure laws. Some were written by lawyers, some by real estate professionals, but rarely did any include consumer input, said Brobeck.

Nowadays, disclosures are required in all 50 states. But many forms are so long, so full of legalese and so poorly presented that consumers will not read them. Beyond that, terminology differs wildly: The CFA found that, collectively, states use more than 50 different terms to identify the roles agents can play in a transaction.

For example, a dual agent -- one who works for both the buyer and the seller, but has no fiduciary duty to either -- might be known as a “limited consensual dual agent,” “dual representative,” “limited dual agent without assigned agency,” “standard dual representative,” “standard dual agent,” “dual-agency broker representing seller and buyer,” “broker representing both seller and buyer” or “multiple representative.” It all depends where the agent practices the always-questionable art of working both sides of the fence.

“Very rarely do two states have the same agent roles and the same terms to identify those roles,” reads the CFA’s 27-page report says, calling the mishmash of terms “especially challenging.”

Brobeck singled out Washington’s disclosure form/pamphlet as the least consumer-friendly. But he added that many other states’ disclosures are so long, legal, poorly formatted and in such small type that they are unlikely to be read. On the flip side, he credited Vermont, New Hampshire and South Dakota with doing “a good job” with their disclosure laws.

Stressing that “no state is perfect,” the nonprofit advises them all to go back to the drawing board. Otherwise, consumers are left to rely on the guidance of agents who don’t owe them any allegiance.

According to the report, 14 states fail to clearly identify whom the agent represents. In eight of those, the disclosure forms were written by the state; the other six use industry-written forms.

The timing of agency disclosures also leaves much to be desired. Now that many buyers are combing the internet and calling listing agents directly when they see a house they like, timing has become more relevant than ever, Brobeck said during a telephone press conference. “Many people don’t fully understand that the agent (they speak with initially) may not represent them.”

Yet, only 16 states require agents to reveal whom they represent upon first contact. Several others mandate disclosure upon the first meeting, which isn’t soon enough to satisfy Brobeck. Some states allow agents to wait until a service agreement of some kind is signed, and eight allow them to hold off until just before a contract is inked -- which, as the report says, is “much too late in the process.”

With the amount of money involved in today’s typical real estate transaction, Brobeck says both buyers and sellers “really need an agent who represents their interests and their interests alone.”

Toward that end, the CFA is urging every state to rethink its disclosure laws and require they be in writing; in short, concise language; in a user-friendly format; and written by the state, not the industry. Furthermore, the disclosure should include the agent’s name, contact information and date.

Every once in a while, a buyer or seller becomes totally dissatisfied with his or her real estate agent.

In a single recent week, Alan May of Jameson Sotheby’s International Realty in Evanston, Illinois, received two calls from sellers who were disappointed with the lack of service from their listing agents. After a brief conversation with each, in which May outlined what he would do differently, they both decided they would like to fire their agents and hire him instead.

Beyond griping that their homes haven’t sold, unhappy owners complain largely about a lack of communication from their agents, according to most of the realty pros who recently discussed the topic on industry website ActiveRain.

That’s what May’s two callers were beefing about. One “complained that he would call his listing agent and would not get a return call for two or three days,” he said.

That, alone, is grounds for dismissal, responded Richard Iarossi of Coldwell Banker in Crofton, Maryland. “Two days is absurdly long by any standard,” he said.

Candice Donofrio of Next Wave Real Estate Investments in Bullhead City, Arizona, agreed: “I’ve said it a hundred times -- this is not a sales business, it’s a communications business.”

So if you’re not satisfied, how exactly can you dump your real estate agent midstream? Turns out, there’s a proper way to accomplish this.

First off, you are bound by what’s in your listing agreement, including items such as the length of the contract, how the agent plans to market your house and under what conditions you can terminate the deal. That’s why you should always read what you’re signing and balk at things you don’t like.

“Don’t take these terms for granted,” Katie Johnson, general counsel for the 1.3 million-member National Association of Realtors, advised in an interview. “Discuss them with the agent and articulate what both parties agree to.”

For example, some contracts last a year, but in that time, the market could completely turn. If you try to minimize your risk by pushing for a shorter contract, though, the agent and broker won’t be willing to spend as much to market your house.

If you’ve given the agent a decent amount of time and he has not performed up to your expectations, you might think about ending the agreement prematurely. If your listing expires in a relatively short time -- or if you just don’t like confrontation -- then sit tight and allow your contract to run its course.

If there are still several months to go, though, tell your agent you want to part ways. Do it nicely -- no yelling or obscenities -- and put your reasons down on paper so there’s a record. Consider hand-delivering it.

This is a courtesy step, because it’s not your agent who owns your listing; it’s his or her broker, the person whose name is on the door. The broker can, if they so choose, overrule the agent and agree to break the contract. Under some listing contracts, though, you may be required to reimburse the agent and broker for whatever marketing expenses they have incurred for your property.

Under the standard contract in Florida, sellers must sign a withdrawal agreement, pay back what’s been spent on their behalf AND pay a cancellation fee. The amount of that fee is left blank, to be filled in when the listing agreement is signed, so it can be any amount -- or nothing at all. Another reason to read carefully and negotiate before signing.

The broker can waive all this. But in Florida, at least, brokers can play hardball because the agreement also states that if the house is sold between the time the pact is terminated and the time it would have expired on its own, the seller must pay the agreed-upon sales commission -- less the cancellation fee, of course.

Brokers might try to hand you over to another agent in their shop, or cut you loose altogether. But they can also refuse to release you from your contract. And if that’s the case, you’ll just have to gut it out. Maybe.

If you believe the agent acted unethically, and he or she’s a member of the local Realtors’ association, you can take your complaint to that board, which can sanction the agent if it agrees with you. Admittedly, though, this can be a slow process.

While you are going through all this, start looking for another agent: one with far better communication skills. That way, as soon as you are able, you can sign with them and lose little time on the market.

Agents aren’t allowed to initiate contact with buyers or sellers who are under contract with another agent. But if you call them, they can make full-blown presentations, if that’s what you want.

Some agents won’t talk to anyone who is currently listed with a rival. Kimo Jarrett of WikiWiki Realty in Huntington Beach, California, is one. “I make it a policy not to discuss any business issues with anyone under contract with another agent, regardless of the circumstances,” he said.

May, and others, respect that position. But as May pointed out, “The rules say that as long as I didn’t initiate the contact, and they contacted me, we are allowed to talk.”