Attaching a so-called “love letter” to your offer on a hotly contested property is often touted as a way to make your deal stand out from the competition. But you may want to think twice about doing so. And your seller may be wise to ignore your missive.

It’s not that letters to sellers don’t work. They do, especially when you are competing with several other potential buyers, according to dozens of realty agents who suggest them to their buyers.

With promises to take care of the house “just as well as you did,” make sure the gardens are tended just as carefully, or that your kids will love the place as much as theirs did, these letters tug at sellers’ heartstrings as well as their purse strings.

Some real estate associations and brokerages go so far as to offer templates and tips about just how to structure your letter. They even suggest pairing the missive with a cute little drawing of the property by one of the wannabe buyer’s kids, or maybe attaching an adorable photo of your wonderful family so the seller can get to know you a little bit better.

But there also are a couple of downsides to pouring your heart out in a “pick me, pick me” letter to the seller.

For buyers, these letters reveal that you really, really want the place -- so much so, that you are willing to list your reasons in longhand. So rather than be persuaded that you’re the buyer he wants, a seller could just as easily dig in his heels and hold out until you offer more than you wanted to pay.

Buyers might also get themselves into trouble if their intentions aren’t really to give the house the love they say they will. Say, for example, that the letter is simply a ploy to get the land, not the house, and you really intend to knock it down and replace it with a bigger, better property.

There’s probably nothing the seller can do about that other than hiss and moan a bit. But what if the seller chooses your offer over one that offered more money because he liked the looks of your family in the attached photo, and your letter was so meaningful?

In situations like that, sellers could be opening themselves up to a world of hurt in a fair housing complaint from one of the rejected “suitors.”

The Fair Housing Act prohibits discrimination based on an individual’s race, color, religion, sex, disability, family status or national origin. So consider this scenario offered by Denver real estate attorney Jon Goodman at the recent National Association of Realtors’ annual convention in Orlando:

A few weeks after you sell your house, one of the buyers who competed for it sees in the local newspaper that you sold the place for less than what he offered. Now suppose that that would-be buyer was a person of color, a “visible member of an oppressed minority,” and that they’d attached a photo to their “pick me” letter, from which you could easily tell the person’s race.

Or suppose the successful buyer belonged to your church, and the rejected one didn’t. Maybe the letter attached to the accepted offer mentioned in passing that the writer intended to attend the church down the street, and the seller just happened to go there, too.

In either case, a suit charging a violation of the Fair Housing Act lurks just around the corner, Goodman warned. “Fair Housing cases tend to go down when the market is bad, but they go up when the market is hot.”

The Colorado attorney, who describes himself as “a gladiator” for his clients, doesn’t advise buyers not to write love letters. Neither does he suggest that listing agents unilaterally keep letters from their clients.

Rather, his recommendation is to include in the listing agreement a clause that says, in effect, “pick me” letters will not be passed on to the seller. If the seller never sees the letter, he can’t get himself into trouble.

”Sellers should make their decisions for economic reasons, not because ‘this buyer is like me,’” he said. “It’s not supposed to be about black or white. It’s supposed to be about green.”

Goodman isn’t the only realty lawyer worried about love letters. So is Annie Fitzsimmons, a legal hotline attorney with the Washington Realtors organization.

In a podcast a couple of years ago, she told group members that they have no choice but to present all offers as well as “other communications” to their sellers. But the only documents sellers should consider are the written offers, and the letters from lenders saying the buyer has been approved for financing.

Fitzsimmons also advised her members to fully document the business reasons their seller chose the offer he did. Perhaps it contained the highest price, or maybe it allowed for the fastest closing date. Maybe it came with the largest amount of earnest money, or perhaps it contained no contingencies.

Whatever the reason, she said, by documenting it, there can be no ambiguities. And no one can come back later to charge you with discrimination.

There are good reasons for sellers to limit the times and hours their home can be shown to prospective buyers. But if you put too tight a window on viewings, your place is likely to linger on the market or remain unsold.

“If a seller makes the home too difficult to show,” said Texas agent Tom Branch, “most agents will pass it up.”

If you have a newborn at home, sure, go ahead and restrict showings to certain hours or times of the day. The same goes for elderly or sick occupants who should not be disturbed. Or maybe it’s the first day of school -- that morning is always chaotic. And a showing is often a bigger inconvenience for the seller than for the agent who calls 40 minutes before he wants to swing by with a possible buyer. Feel free to declare such occasions off-limits.

But otherwise, to limit showings is usually a bad idea.

Yes, you have to keep the place clean and tidy 24/7. And you could have people walking through the house at all hours of the day and evening. But if you are a motivated seller, you don’t want to put anything in the way of landing a buyer.

Sellers sometimes unintentionally put up roadblocks. Branch, who works for RE/MAX Dallas Suburbs, recalled one instance where the seller required a 24-hour notice, plus a 30-minute reminder, for all appointments. Not only that, but the house was vacant.

That kind of restriction is “a big problem,” said buyer’s agent Diane Schubach of Laffey Fine Homes in Port Washington, New York. “I’m convinced that sellers are not aware of, nor have they ever had a conversation with their listing agent about, the importance of making a home easy to show.

“If a buyer can’t get in on one weekend, they will rarely ask to see it the following weekend,” said Schubach in a conversation Branch started on the ActiveRain real estate website.

Rachel Reardon of RE/MAX Executive in Charlotte, North Carolina, said she “couldn’t agree more.”

When showing five or 10 houses in a single day, Reardon and other agents “don’t have time for someone who has such restrictions unless they have a valid reason.”

In such cases, Reardon said she would do her level best to accommodate the seller. But Lynn Bower of John R. Wood Realtors in Naples, Florida, and Monica Atherton of the Associates Realty Group in Temecula, California, said they would just move on to the next place on their lists.

“I would not opt to show unless there was something about that property no other listing had,” said Bower. “Our inventory is healthy enough now that if one (listing) doesn’t fit the bill, another one will.”

“If it gets too complicated, I pass,” said Atherton.

Still, if you absolutely, positively have to restrict showing times, have your agent write them into the private remarks section of the MLS listing for your property. That way, all agents will be on notice and will try to oblige your wishes.

“Most agents understand that there are times when it’s just not possible to have a home shown within the next hour or two. We really do,” said Anna ‘Banana’ Kruchten, broker-owner with the Phoenix Property Shoppe. “We know ‘stuff happens’ from time to time that makes it impossible to accommodate a showing.”

If there are valid reasons to restrict showings, Kruchten recommends suggesting alternative times, or asking that your house be last on the list of houses the agent plans to show that day.

Buyers shouldn’t face ridiculous restrictions, but sellers can expect to be shown a modicum of courtesy and some reasonable notice, especially “if they ask for it,” said Jayson Holland of RE/MAX Masters Millennium in Denver.

The way the listing agent communicates with other agents about special showing instructions “can make a difference” in how fast a house sells and the price the seller receives, says Raylene Lewis of Century 21 Beal in College Station, Texas.

“I am talking about the difference between a quick sale at top dollar, and a listing that stays on the market an unnecessarily long time and sells for less than what it should have,” she said.

Lewis told of one instance in which she tried to schedule a showing three different times, but each time, it was not convenient for the sellers. Her client finally decided to pass and went on to buy another place. The sellers “lost out on a chance to get an offer and very likely cost themselves money, because the longer the house sits, the lower the offer the buyer is likely to make,” she said.

Of the thousands of complaints received by the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB), gripes regarding debt collections from the military community numbered twice the rate of the general population.

That’s rather surprising when you consider that servicemen and women, veterans and their families are covered not only by the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act, which applies to everyone, but also by the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act. The latter postpones or suspends certain civil obligations to enable servicemembers to devote their full attention to their military duties.

That the CFPB has fielded nearly 20,000 complaints from servicemembers is dastardly news, indeed. But there’s also good news from the financial field – especially from the housing industry -- when it comes to the military.

Here’s a peek at just some of the “thank you for your service” efforts being taken on behalf of the military:

-- Army Sgt. Matthew White and his two dogs, Nike and Toffee, recently received the keys to a new mortgage-free, fully furnished home in Dumfries, Virginia. The house was donated by PulteGroup’s Built to Honor program, which gives new homes to wounded veterans and their families across the country. (White was injured while on a foot patrol during his second deployment to Afghanistan.) Pulte has given away dozens of houses under the program.

More than 50 national and local contractors, trade partners and Pulte employees donated time, money and resources to build the 1,800-square-foot townhouse. The home’s furniture was donated by TV personality Rachael Ray.

-- Bank of America has given more than 2,000 abandoned and foreclosed houses to such nonprofit partners as HomeStrong USA and the Military Warriors Support Foundation, which vet the eventual recipients to make sure they can handle the responsibilities of homeownership. The bank’s employees volunteer thousands of hours to help put the houses into move-in condition, including stocking the pantries with canned goods.

-- SunTrust honored vets on the Thursday before Memorial Day last year. At exactly 11 a.m., the bank’s 35,000 employees stopped what they were doing for a moment of silence to honor the fallen -- even if a teller or loan officer was with a customer. And in many cases, customers bowed their heads right along.

-- In conjunction with local groups, Freddie Mac -- the giant quasi-government secondary market institution that helps keep the mortgage money flowing -- offers free homeownership counseling during American Heroes Housing Fairs and Open Houses throughout the country. Counseling is open to both active and retired military, as well as educators, firefighters, police and other first responders.

-- The Chesty Puller House in Saluda County, Virginia, is intended to be a refuge for at-risk Marines of all ranks, from privates to generals, before they reach the point of considering suicide. In 2015, to raise money for this cause, Dave Biggers of real estate technology firm A La Mode matched donations, dollar-for-dollar, from customers, employees and anyone else who felt compelled to donate.

-- Brint Construction, a Texas-based, family-owned homebuilder, designed and built the Lone Survivor Foundation’s first retreat center in Bolivar, Texas. The space provides therapeutic healing and educational support for soldiers suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder and other wounds associated with combat.

-- Barbara Mills, a RE/MAX Realty One agent in Inverness, Florida, has arranged hundreds of small parties to greet individual warriors returning home from the Middle East. She also arranged a larger event for 140 National Guardsmen who arrived all at once. Each soldier or sailor is given a gift basket valued at about $450. Each basket also contains $500 or so in checks and other gifts from member of the Citrus County community.

-- Greystone Real Estate Partners of Charleston, South Carolina, is among a number of firms involved with Homes Fit for Heroes, a foundation that provides apartments to wounded special operations warriors -- SEALs, Green Berets, Rangers, Night Stalkers, Delta Force members and others -- while they recover from their wounds.

These are just a few examples of how real estate folks try to give back. There are too many others to list here. But we salute all of them, as well as the warriors they are helping.