It's one thing to manage a rental house when it's located in a nearby community. But it's another process entirely when the rental is in a distant vacation retreat. Unfortunately, many second-home buyers find that out the hard way.

According to a survey by HomeAway, an online marketplace for vacation rentals, owners spend an average of 8.6 hours a week managing their properties. That's one full workday a week! And even then, it's doubtful that the typical owner can market his vacation pad, maintain it and do all the other things necessary to have a successful rental regime.

That's not to say you can't be successful going the do-it-yourself route. You can. But think of the things a professional property manager can bring to the table. The list includes their full time and attention, 24-7 -- 365, if necessary -- along with marketing, screening, housekeeping, record-keeping, periodic inspections and more.

Of course, this doesn't come cheaply. Fees are all over the ballpark, depending largely on geography, says Mark McSweeney, executive director of the Indianapolis-based Vacation Rental Managers Association (VRMA). "There's a pretty wide range, based on your region. The average is from 15 to 40 percent" of the monthly rent.

But what's going out shouldn't be as important as what's coming in, according to Ben Edwards of Newman Daily Resort Properties, a rental management company in Miramar Beach in Florida's Panhandle region.

"Everybody asks about our fees, but 90 percent isn't high if you are delivering revenue," he says. "That's what the focal point should be."

Edwards, who is also president of the rental managers group, says that in today's market, it's not difficult to nail a few rentals, particularly in your area's prime rental season. But to fill the place week after week or month after month, year-in and year-out, with people who return over and over again? Well, that's another thing entirely.

"We book more," the professional manager says. "We wouldn't be able to survive in these very competitive markets if we didn't."

VRMA doesn't have any figures to back up its contention that the pros book more tenants than individuals, or that they generate more revenue to offset the expense of hiring a manager. But a survey in 2012 by PhoCusWright, a travel and hospitality research firm, found that the split is pretty much even.

That is, whereas the rent-by-owner segment was responsible for 51 percent of the bookings, says Vice President of Research Douglas Quinby, the managed segment took in 51 percent of the revenue. But the trend, he adds, is toward professional management.

"When the market was very strong, owners could be choosy. And they didn't have to take a very professional approach," Quinby explains. "Now, they have to be much more engaged."

It's impossible to discuss all the benefits a professional manager brings to the table in the space allotted here. But let's take a deeper look at just a few:

-- Marketing. You might be able to fill a few weeks or months by word-of-mouth or local advertising. You might even be able to create a website.

But the pros can place your place in the local multiple list service, and they can advertise not just in local papers but in those ubiquitous weekly real estate magazines you see on newsstands, on television and online. Then there's email marketing, social media and online listing sites.

"Some of the biggest advantages to partnering with a professional are the in-depth programs designed to market their inventory," the VRMA website says. "Companies may invest in high-resolution property videos or photos, guest surveys, contests, promotional trade outs, brochures, rack cards and more to drive business."

-- Screening. This is more than determining whether the potential guest can fog a mirror. The pros make sure the tenant is qualified by income, age and background.

"I don't put just anyone who can come up with the first month's rent and security deposit into your home," says Joan Medeiros of Royalty Rentals and Property Management in Fort Myers, Fla., who handles only year-round leases, not seasonals.

"I screen them carefully," says the longtime manager, who takes the first month's rent and 10 percent of the monthly rent as her fee. "I do a full background check, including credit and criminal."

Medeiros also asks for three current paystubs and looks for prior evictions. If the prospect has been evicted anywhere in the previous five years, she turns them down flat.

That may be a little much for weekly rentals, but certainly not for anything longer. "You have to be tough to get the right people," she says.

-- Inspections. It's difficult, if not impossible, to lord over your place when you live hundreds of miles away. But on-site managers are around all the time.

Medeiros inspects the inside of her properties every three months and the outside every month. She also does a walkthrough before tenants move in, when they move in and when they move out. Again, perhaps a little much on a weekly rental. But you get the idea.

-- Services. Can you respond at any time, even when something goes bump in the middle of the night (like it always does)? The pros can.

"You won't have a tenant calling you in the middle of the night, weekends or holidays. They'll be calling me, and I'll be answering, no matter what time of the day," the Fort Myers manager says. "You won't have to search for contractors to make repairs because I have them on speed-dial."

Comic Bill Maher ends his weekly show on HBO with a segment he calls "New Rules." So allow us to begin the new year with a report on the nation's "new rules" for obtaining a mortgage.

As of Jan. 10, a number of new requirements under the Dodd-Frank Wall Street Reform and Consumer Protection Act took effect. The main difference between the lending standards and Maher's rules is that there is nothing funny about the new lending canons.

Indeed, they are no joking matter. Consumer Financial Protection Bureau Director Richard Cordray calls the new common-sense rules a "back-to-basics approach" to mortgage lending. "No debt traps, no surprises, no runarounds," he says.

Here's a brief rundown:

-- Qualified mortgage (QM): Borrowers won't be offered qualified mortgages, at least under that name. Rather, the term refers to loans that meet the requirements set down under the Dodd-Frank Act and enforced by the CFPB.

Under the rules, lenders will not be liable should a borrower run into difficulty years after the mortgage was originated as long as the loan met the QM standards. So, to protect themselves, lenders will be playing it close to the vest, making sure they meet the letter of the law.

But that doesn't mean mortgages outside the rules will no longer be available. They will, though they are likely to cost more, both in terms of interest rates and fees.

-- Ability to pay: Every lender must make a reasonable, good-faith determination that you can afford the mortgage before you take it on. Obviously, they can't tell whether you will lose your job three years from now, or whether you or a family member won't be struck by a major illness. But they must now look at your income and assets and weigh those against the monthly payments over the long term.

-- Ratios: The debt-to-income ratio on loans insured by the Federal Housing Administration cannot exceed 43 percent, down from 46 percent previously. But some lenders are likely to impose an even stricter limit.

At the same time, lenders can and will offer any type of mortgage they believe you can repay. And the new rules do not prevent lending to any borrowers with a DTI ratio over 43 percemt.

Mortgage bankers, for example, can rely on the less-restrictive rules for loans backed by Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, the two quasi-government entities which purchase mortgages from primary lenders. And smaller community banks can choose to keep their loans on their own books.

But no matter what rules your loan is written under, your lender must believe without a doubt that you can repay. And they must verify and document everything.

-- Down payments: Though much has been written about lenders now requiring a minimum of 20 percent down, the new rules say nothing about a minimum down payment. Consequently, loans with as little as 5 or 10 percent down should still be readily available.

-- Fees: To meet the QM standards, upfront points and fees cannot exceed 3 percent. (A "point" is 1 percent of the loan amount.)

-- Loan limits: Though the QM rules say nothing about the amount banks or mortgage companies can lend, separate changes announced by federal regulators have ratcheted down limits on government loans.

As of Jan. 1, FHA loans can not exceed $625,000, even in high-cost areas, down from $729,750. As a result of lower maximum loan amounts, according to the National Association of Home Builders, the ceiling on FHA loans will decline by more than 20 percent in nearly 150 counties and from 40 to 50 percent in 17 counties.

Although there was plenty of hand-wringing about whether Fannie and Freddie would also lower their limits, their regulator, the Federal Housing Finance Agency, elected to hold the line for 2014. This means that either company can still purchase loans of up to $417,000 in most locations and up to $625,500 in high-cost markets.

But again, lenders in the so-called "jumbo" space can lend as much as they so desire.

-- Self-employed: People without verifiable W-2 income face much more of an uphill battle than they used to. Even with substantial net worth and a high credit score, they are going to have to jump through hoops to show they are mortgage worthy.

For example, whereas daily expenses are used to reduce taxable income on most self-employeds' tax returns, these write-offs will be used against would-be borrowers by lenders, who will deduct them from income when computing DTI ratios and your ability to pay.

-- Documentation: Lenders will dig deeper into validating your income, employment, credit glitches and expenses. How deep? One borrower had to report not only how much he was paying for his homeowner's insurance policies on all his properties -- not just the one he was attempting to refinance -- but was also asked to produce the cover sheet for each policy.

If you are not ready for this kind of intrusion into your financial picture, your application could be delayed for weeks until you can provide the proper proof.

I am an unintended consequence.

I have loads of money. I own four properties free and clear. I have no debt. My credit file is impeccable. I have a credit score of 760.

And I was just turned down for a mortgage.

Not just any mortgage, but a cash-out refinance of less than six figures on a foreclosure I bought for cash, rehabbed and turned back on the market as a rental. Furthermore, I was only asking for a loan-to-value ratio of 70 percent, meaning I was leaving 30 percent of the home's value as equity. And I was rejected!

All of my rental properties are fully leased, each supported by current rental agreements. The lender had copies of my tax returns for 2011 and 2012, each year validated by copies from the IRS. The lender also had copies of each and every one of my bank statements.

And the lender still said "No!"

I pay all my bills on time. As soon as a bill arrives in the mail, a check goes out -- in full! The very next day! Every bill, no matter how big or small, out the next day. Sometimes I even take the envelope to the post office the same day. But the lender doesn't think I am a good risk!

The reason: I had recently switched from being a W-2 employee who also had 1099 wages to a full-time 1099 worker. That is, I left the world of the fully employed to that of a full-time freelance journalist.

And since I could not show that I earned enough 1099 income over the last two years to pay for the loan -- the history just wasn't there -- the lender's underwriters said I wasn't a good enough risk.

Here's what my denial form letter said: "Due to change of employment from some W-2 to all self-employment, Fannie Mae cannot approve due to the short time of all self-employment."

Now, my loan officer is as aghast as I am. But he's not the one who gets to make the decision. He's basically a salesman. It's the underwriters who have the final word. Not even my agent's branch manager held any sway. The underwriters said "no," and that's that.

Oh yeah: I was told, come back in 2014 when you can show at least 12-18 months' worth of freelance or contractor income, and we'll give your loan application another look.

Thanks a lot, Dodd-Frank. Thanks much, CFPB.

Dodd-Frank is the common name associated with the Dodd-Frank Wall Street Reform and Consumer Protection Act, the law Congress passed in 2010 to make sure the kind of lending that brought on the housing recession never happened again. You know, the liar loans, aka no-doc ("no documentation") loans, in which all the borrower had to do was fog a mirror. And CFPB is the Consumer Financial Protection Agency, the federal agency created by the law to carry out its dictum.

But surely lawmakers didn't mean people like me when they changed the rules. Now everything is income-based, and borrowers have to prove -- and I mean prove -- they have the ability to repay. Apparently I can't, at least in the eyes of the underwriters.

It doesn't matter what the underlying value of the property is. It doesn't matter what kind of assets you have in the bank. It doesn't matter whether you have a profit and loss statement. It doesn't matter what your credit score is. It doesn't matter whether you can validate everything.

All those factors are still important, of course. But if you can't show you have enough coming in to support what's going out, those things don't mean diddly.

Don Frommeyer, an Indiana mortgage broker and president of the Association of Mortgage Professionals, calls the new ability-to-pay rules the "new gold standard for lending." He says lenders now must follow a set of guidelines to establish your income, assets and obligations before deeming you eligible.

And things are becoming particularly tough on self-employed borrowers like me, because income is calculated to consider the borrower's write-offs: the tax deductions all of us self-employed dudes take to reduce our taxable income.

So here I sit. What I thought was a slam-dunk mortgage has turned into a pink slip. You got me, legislators. You nailed me, regulators.

You have protected the mortgage system -- and the greater economy -- from the likes of me. People who have worked hard all their lives and done things the right away. We save, we pay our bills on time -- but we can't get a home loan.

I hope you are satisfied!