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by Abigail Van Buren

Resentment Builds as Friends Share Tales of Having Fun

DEAR ABBY: Unfortunately, I am not in the same income bracket as my family and some of my friends. Also, I married a guy who doesn't like to socialize because he's a recovering alcoholic, and he also has hearing problems. Family and friends rarely ask us to join them when they go out, but they never fail to call and tell me all about the great time they had and where they plan to go next. It hurts, and I resent them for it. I want to be happy for them and not feel the way I do. Help! -- DIFFERENT IN NEW YORK

DEAR DIFFERENT: Your husband may have hearing problems, but your relatives appear to be tone deaf in the sensitivity department. What they are doing is cruel.

Rather than compare your life to that of friends and relatives who have more freedom to socialize than you and your husband do, it would be more constructive to figure out what you CAN do. Socialize either with others or by yourselves in places that don't serve alcohol and aren't overly noisy. Ask your relatives to join you there -- and put the ball in their court.

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