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by Abigail Van Buren

Grandmother Strives To Be Inclusive in Fractured Family Situation

DEAR ABBY: My son and daughter-in-law -- the parents of three minor children -- were divorced in 2019. Prior to their divorce, the ex-DIL got pregnant by another man. She has since had a little girl. My dilemma is, do I include the new little girl when they come to visit Grandma? She is still my grandchildren's half-sister. As they get older and come to visit me, I would feel bad leaving her out of events.

My son is livid that I would even consider including her. Her other grandparents refuse to have anything to do with her. How do I deal with this? -- DILEMMA IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR DILEMMA: You have a loving heart. I assume all the children live together with their mother. To exclude their half-sister would be logistically difficult and cruel to a child who is blameless. Your son may not like the situation, but it is time for him to grow up and face reality. You are the only grandmother that child has ever known, so remain calm, assert your right to self-determination and refuse to allow yourself to be bullied or intimidated.

Read more in: Family & Parenting