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by Abigail Van Buren

Man Can't Let Go of Wife's Long-Ago Affairs

DEAR ABBY: Because of the recent COVID-19 crisis, my wife and I, like so many others, have been stuck at home. I have asked her questions about former boyfriends and lovers. She told me some things, but when I bring it up now, she gets defensive and accuses me of belittling her and bringing back memories she has asked God to help her forget. I feel I am owed an explanation since they all took place while we were dating (including with my best friend) and with a house sitter after we were married. Am I wrong to bring it up after many years and a great marriage?

P.S. It's eating at me, and her stonewalling by saying "I can't remember" is frustrating, especially because all her friends talk about her great memory. -- DEPRESSED IN TEXAS

DEAR DEPRESSED: Yes, you are wrong because this isn't getting you anywhere positive. In fact, it's the opposite. If you are looking for a divorce after "many years and a great marriage," keep digging.

While your wife's poor judgment and infidelity are deeply regrettable, the two of you managed to build a life together and move beyond it. Sometimes people forget what they need to forget in order to function. Accept it and use your quarantine time to do something more positive than playing "20 Questions."

Read more in: Covid 19 | Marriage & Divorce