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by Abigail Van Buren

Criticism of People's Weight Rubs Friend the Wrong Way

DEAR ABBY: One of my dearest friends has a nasty habit of making snide comments about people who are overweight. We've been friends for more than 40 years, and she has always been this way.

Now that I'm older, I have packed on a few pounds myself, and when she says these things in a conversation, I'm like, "Hey, I'm overweight too! Am I disgusting?" I can't seem to find the words to get her to think about what she says.

It doesn't really hurt my feelings, but it makes her sound like a horrible person, and she really isn't. She's a dear in almost every other respect. I would like to get her to stop this, so what's your advice? -- FRIEND HAS A FAULT

DEAR FRIEND: The next time she does it, say out loud, "Hey, I'm overweight, too! Am I disgusting like you say about those other people? I have listened to this for 40 years and enough is enough! You are sweet, but when you say those things, you come across as nasty and judgmental. So cut it out!" (Better late than never.)

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