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by Abigail Van Buren

Boyfriend Plans Move To Be Near Ailing Mother

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of 10 years (we own a house together) has just announced he feels he should move closer to his ailing mother. She lives about 250 miles away, a four-hour drive. Is this a thing? Do people do this? He did not ask me to move with him.

We live less than a mile from my own elderly mother, and I do dote on her. He knows I wouldn't leave her. If he goes through with this, I'll be heartbroken.

We have no mortgage. I can afford to stay in our house and -- then what? Wait for him? Wait for his mother to die? I could visit him once in a while, but my job, my mom and our cats are here. There's also my yard work. Do you think this could be his oddball way of breaking things off? -- MISERABLE OVER THIS IN MICHIGAN

DEAR MISERABLE: This could be your boyfriend's attempt to end your relationship -- or not. He may not have invited you to move with him because he understands how many obligations you have between your mother, your job, your pets and the upkeep of your home.

It's time to ask him -- calmly -- how he views the implications of this move. Does he see it the same way you do? If his mom's health improves, it could be years before he returns, if ever. Because you have invested a decade of your life with him, you deserve some straight answers, and the best way to get them is to remain calm and be direct.

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