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by Abigail Van Buren

Plan for Small Wedding Draws Complaint From Mom

DEAR ABBY: I am currently living with my fiancee, "Josie." That we are a same-sex couple was hard for our families to come to terms with. (Mainly Josie's mother.)

We are now planning a small courthouse wedding with a family dinner to follow a week later. We have made this clear to family and close friends, and nobody has taken issue with it. However, Josie's mother thinks it "isn't right" that we are inviting only parents to the ceremony and not siblings (Josie has one; I have three). She also called Josie crying because Josie and I went dress shopping on our own (spontaneously).

My mother is perfectly happy with all of our decisions and supportive with whatever we decide. How can we get my fiancee's mother to be more supportive? -- WEDDING DRAMA IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR WEDDING DRAMA: It might be helpful to recognize that while your family is more accepting, Josie's mother appears to be struggling on a couple of fronts. As many mothers do, she may have fantasized about a church wedding, helping her daughter select her bridal gown, and having a son-in-law. In a sense, she is grieving the death of her fantasy. Frankly, I feel sorry for the woman. With time, I am sure she will become more accepting and supportive.

You and Josie are about to embark on your lives together. Let your happiness be the beacon that guides her mother to acceptance, although it may not happen as quickly as you would wish.

Read more in: Holidays & Celebrations | Family & Parenting