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by Abigail Van Buren

Mistress Remains a Secret in Man's Life After His Divorce

DEAR ABBY: I am a 55-year-old woman dating a 63-year-old man. Our relationship didn't start out in the best of circumstances eight years ago because he was still in his 25-year marriage. His wife had been living out of state. When she eventually learned about our relationship, she asked for a divorce. The divorce has been final for more than a year.

I understand that he is embarrassed to let his friends know he is now divorced, but his closest friends know. I'm still waiting for a time when I can be a part of his life without hiding, but I'm beginning to feel he has no intention of letting this happen.

He gets irritated and upset with me when I ask if this friend or that knows about the divorce yet. He doesn't want me to meet his friends. Must I just accept that I was never meant to really be a part of his life, even though he tells me he loves me? -- STILL IN HIDING IN WASHINGTON

DEAR STILL IN HIDING: I'm sorry, but I think you may be finally reading the handwriting on the wall quite clearly. If he were proud of this relationship and in love with you, he would be showing you off to his friends, not hiding you. Have you actually seen his divorce papers, and are you absolutely sure that this man is divorced?

Read more in: Love & Dating | Marriage & Divorce