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by Abigail Van Buren

Groom Has Reservations About Gay Couple on Wedding Guest List

DEAR ABBY: I'm getting married soon, and I want to invite a colleague I have known for years. My colleague is gay and married. My fiance, "Ted," is from a large, very traditional family. When I suggested inviting my co-worker and his husband, Ted expressed concern, stating that members of his family might feel alienated and uncomfortable.

I love Ted dearly, and I love his family. But I feel like I will be shutting out a friend by not inviting him and his spouse. Should I explain the situation to my colleague or leave it alone? Is it possible to reach a compromise that will make everyone happy? -- LOVING BRIDE IN TEXAS

DEAR BRIDE: I think you should do what makes YOU happy. The problem with trying to please everyone is that it isn't possible. Unless you want Ted's family deciding who your friendships should include in the future, tell Ted this person is your friend and you do not want him and his husband to feel hurt by being excluded. Ted's family will adjust, which is what gracious guests are supposed to do.

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