DEAR ABBY: My daughter says that if I send a wedding gift of money to the bride and groom even though we weren't invited, it would make the bride feel guilty for not including me/us.
My daughter and the bride have been friends and sports teammates for 25 years. We watched her grow up into a fine person. She had a small, backyard wedding, and we completely understood and agreed with her decision to not invite us. What is the proper etiquette on this topic? -- DON'T KNOW IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR DON'T KNOW: The rule of etiquette is that if you accept a wedding invitation, you should give the couple a gift. However, if you do not attend and still would like to send something, it's not only not a breach of etiquette, it is a generous and loving gesture. By all means send the check along with a sweet note expressing the sentiments you shared with me. I assure you, the bride will be touched by your thoughtfulness.