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by Abigail Van Buren

Wedding Planning Prompts Bride to Question Marriage

DEAR ABBY: I'm getting married in a few months, and with all of the wedding planning, I have realized that in my fiance's priorities, I come last, as do my opinions and desires.

We were supposed to go to a nice restaurant for his birthday, so I made reservations a month in advance. Yesterday (two days before his birthday) his parents decided they wanted to take him out to dinner to celebrate it. He immediately canceled our plans to go to the nice restaurant so he can have dinner with them.

I told him it seems like I always come last, and no matter what we plan, if his parents say go, he goes. He said that isn't true, but it is. Now that I realize I will never come first, I'm having doubts about marrying him.

When I told him we should hold off on getting married, he said we are not postponing the wedding, and we will get married on the date we picked. Although I express my feelings about postponing the wedding almost every day, I get nowhere. Now I feel like I'm being forced to marry someone I'm not sure I want to marry.

I'm not in a good emotional state, and I am constantly thinking of suicide. If I'm forced to marry someone I don't want to, how am I supposed to have a happy and healthy life? -- MIXED UP IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR MIXED UP: Because you are having suicidal thoughts, it is imperative that you talk with a mental health professional who can guide you back on track. Please do this right away! If you and your fiance haven't had premarital counseling, insist upon it NOW. And absolutely postpone that wedding. Feeling as you do, and under these circumstances, you should not marry anyone.

Read more in: Holidays & Celebrations | Mental Health | Marriage & Divorce