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DEAR ABBY: My secretary has worked for me for six years, and I have fallen in love with her. Neither of us is married. There's a couple of problems, however.

The first is, she's half my age. The second, she's a great secretary, and I would never want to do anything to upset her. I have never said anything about how I feel, but I am fairly certain she knows.

I have never done anything as far as making advances toward her or making any type of inappropriate comments. However, I do know I am in love, and I'm finding it harder to concentrate and wonder what to do, which is why I am writing to you. Should I just leave it alone? -- DAZED AND CONFUSED

DEAR DAZED: Harassment policies in the business world have become more stringent. Conversations that could make a subordinate uncomfortable could put your own employment at risk if you are rebuffed. Because I don't know the policies in the company you work for, I'm recommending you err on the side of caution and leave it alone.


DEAR ABBY: My fiance and I are getting married this summer. We are both atheists here in the Bible Belt and come from religious families who will be invited to our small backyard wedding. Our families don't know that we are atheist. We won't be having any prayers or religious readings in our ceremony.

We are concerned about the reception. There is sure to be someone who expects a prayer over the meal and, if there isn't one, will speak up and do it.

I would like to address this issue ahead of time so our wishes are respected. I thought of perhaps including a little note in the invitations asking that any prayers be offered silently. Would that be rude? Do you have another suggestion to help us figure out the best way to handle this before our big day? -- RELIGIONLESS GATHERING

DEAR RELIGIONLESS: Would it be rude? Yes. Technically, the only enclosure with your invitation should be the RSVP card. Feeling as strongly as your relatives do about religion, your families could feel confused or offended. Because you know someone is likely to want to bless the food, be polite, grin and bear it, and while it's being offered, focus your thoughts on your honeymoon.


DEAR ABBY: I am considering putting aside some money for my granddaughter's college education while I am able to do so. Do I need to see a lawyer for this? I just want a simple solution and need to know the best way to do it. She is 12 and wants to go to college someday. Is setting up a private bank account just for her a good idea? I really need some help in doing it the right way. -- SUPPORTIVE GRANDMA IN ARIZONA

DEAR GRANDMA: This is a question you should direct to your financial adviser or the manager of your bank. Setting up an education savings account is an excellent idea, and you are a generous and loving grandparent to want to do it.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order "How to Be Popular." Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

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