Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

Daughter of an Addict Frowns on Her Husband's Drinking

DEAR ABBY: I'm on the verge of a divorce, about to start a trial separation. There was no cheating involved on my part or hers. There haven't been any money issues, either.

My soon-to-be ex-wife decided, after 11 years of marriage and no sex for the past two years, that she wants to be alone and has no feelings for me. I'm totally floored, and I'm not sure of what I'm asking other than your opinion of this. She has agreed to go to marriage counseling. Do you really throw away a marriage over this, and should I move out and hope she misses me and wants me back? -- BROKENHEARTED DUDE

DEAR BROKENHEARTED: Do not move out and "hope" your wife wants you back. If you separate, you may decide that you don't want her back. I'm pleased she's willing to go to counseling with you. It may create a path toward healing your marriage, if it is salvageable. It will also help you to understand what went wrong. (I suggest you start exploring the circumstances under which your sex life died.)