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by Abigail Van Buren

Battle With Drug Addiction Undermines Loving Relationship

DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship with a woman for two years. She has been battling drug addiction during the entire time we have been together. I have made a few serious mistakes, and she blames me for her situation now.

She moved in with me, and I make all the money between us. She refuses to get a job and spends most of my money getting high. I thought she wanted treatment, but she resists getting help. We love each other, but I don't know whether I should move on and leave her behind. What do you suggest? -- UNSURE IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR UNSURE: Unless the serious mistakes you made involved hooking your girlfriend on drugs, you are not responsible for her addiction. Because you provide the money that feeds her habit, you have become her enabler. The longer you continue, the longer she will keep using.

What you need to do is find the nearest chapter of Nar-Anon and attend some of the meetings. It's a 12-step program created for friends and families of people who suffer from addictions. You can find the nearest meeting at Please don't put it off. You will find emotional support there, and if necessary, enough insight to understand whether you can continue with things as they are, or let her go.

Read more in: Addiction | Love & Dating | Money