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by Abigail Van Buren

Sibling Sees Signs of Abuser in Teen Who Beats Up on Her

DEAR ABBY: When I read the column about the warning signs of an abuser in your archives, I was scared to realize that my older brother is one. He has most of the qualities you pointed out except for the sex stuff.

He just turned 14, and he has just started dating. That got me thinking. If one day he moves in with someone or gets married, how am I going to warn the girl to watch out? I'm being hit, and I have things thrown at me all the time, and I don't want anyone else to experience that. My parents have tried to get him professional help, but it hasn't worked. Please help. -- BRUISED SISTER IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR SISTER: I'm glad you wrote. You should not have to tolerate being your brother's punching bag, and your parents should not allow you to be abused. Because your parents are unable to control him and get him the help he clearly needs to control his emotions, tell a counselor at school about the violence you are experiencing. Because he has left bruises, have a friend photograph them. The counselor can inform the proper authorities so he gets the help he apparently needs.

Read more in: Family & Parenting | Abuse | Teens