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by Abigail Van Buren

Sisters Wonder If They Just Met a Brother They Never Knew About

DEAR ABBY: I am a 64-year-old woman; my sister is 68. A few months ago, she was shopping and saw a man who looked exactly like our father. (Dad passed away in 2008.) A conversation ensued, and he subsequently came to visit her at her home. He's 69. She snapped a picture of him and sent it to me, and the resemblance is uncanny. He was born in the same state as our father, was adopted and never knew his birth parents. We never had a brother; it was always just the two of us and our parents. She wants me to meet him.

He's married and doesn't want to tell his family about us. I would be happy to meet him, brother or not, but I need to know the truth before getting involved. It would be too weird for me to just wonder. He seems reluctant to take the DNA test. My sister and I are in the AncestryDNA system already, so it would be easy for us all to confirm. What should I do? -- GETTING INVOLVED

DEAR GETTING INVOLVED: Because this man doesn't want his family to know he may have siblings, is reluctant to take the test and you would prefer not to meet him unless you know his status, do nothing. The next move should be his.

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