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by Abigail Van Buren

Grandparents Avoid Topic of Granddaughter's Sexual Orientation

DEAR ABBY: Our 25-year-old granddaughter is engaged to be married to another woman very soon. Her parents told us she is gay a few years ago. She's very independent and will soon have her medical degree. She has been away at college. When she's home she visits us, but we have never been able to talk about it with her.

She knows we don't condone something we believe is wrong. We are torn between going along or continuing to ignore the issue. Can you help? -- NOT IN FAVOR IN KENTUCKY

DEAR NOT IN FAVOR: If you feel you can change your granddaughter's sexual orientation by telling her you disapprove of her being gay, forget it. It won't work and may drive a permanent wedge between you. It might be helpful if you talk to her and let her explain that her sexual orientation isn't something she "chose" -- it's part of who she is: an intelligent, caring, accomplished individual who is dedicating her life to helping others. While it may be hard for you, keep an open mind and listen to what she has to say.

Read more in: Family & Parenting | Sex & Gender