Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

Mom Fears for Her Safety in Demanding Daughter's House

DEAR ABBY: I am a 71-year-old woman living with my 49-year-old single daughter in her house. She works during the day and I stay at home. She expects me to clean the house, walk the dog, work in the garden, do the laundry, make dinner, etc. I am willing to help with these things, but she doesn't seem to appreciate what I do, as is often demonstrated by her comments concerning the amount of noise I make when I eat, my bedroom not being clean enough and my activity level.

She says she's doing this "for my own good," and that I am lazy and unmotivated to do anything but play on my computer (she unplugged the internet because she thought I spent too much time on it). She claims she loves me and wants me to live with her, but I feel I should move out before this gets physical and she hurts more than my feelings. What should I do? -- BOARDER IN THE SOUTH

DEAR BOARDER: Move if you can afford to do it. Your daughter may love you, as I am sure you love her, but the situation you describe isn't healthy for either of you. You are being treated like a servant, not a mother. You are right to be concerned that your daughter's verbal abuse may escalate, because it very well could.

Read more in: Family & Parenting | Money | Abuse | Health & Safety