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by Abigail Van Buren

Boyfriend Would Rather Party With Friends Than Stay Home

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating my boyfriend just over a year. We live and work together, which I enjoy. He, on the other hand, expressed from day one that all he asks for out of our relationship is "space." I'm fine with that, but now it seems he needs more and more space. (An example: Spending nights at friends' because they go out drinking on the weekends.)

I have told him I think it's selfish because weekends are the only free time both of us have together. And lately, it has become a few weekends out of the month. My friends and family think it's bordering on inappropriate because when you're in a relationship, you want to spend time with the person you love.

I'm at a crossroads. Part of me understands where he's coming from; another part of me thinks it's a cop-out. I'm wondering if I should put up with it for now until we find separate jobs (if that will even solve the problem) or if I should kick him to the curb. Advice? -- MATTER OF SPACE IN FLORIDA

DEAR MATTER OF SPACE: A man whose idea of a good time is going out drinking with his buddies to the point that he can't make it home isn't ready for an exclusive relationship. While I don't advise "kicking him to the curb," if your idea of a satisfying relationship is spending weekends enjoying each other's company, tell him you need more than he's prepared to give you and it would be better if one of you moved out.