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Drinking Turns Husband Into Belligerent Host

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I usually hosted all the get-togethers among our friends. We haven't been able to do that for about six months.

Hosting is something I love to do when I'm not working. My family, friends and co-workers have all told me they no longer want to visit -- or vice versa -- because of my husband. He gets drunk and treats them like they are inferior. My husband, a stay-at-home dad, does not see it. There are now many people in my life I no longer see because of his rudeness.

My husband and I have been best friends since third grade. I love him, but protecting him and making excuses for him is exhausting. What should I do? -- HARD-WORKING SPOUSE

DEAR HARD WORKING: One of the symptoms of a "problem drinker" is when the drinking affects that person's relationships. Your mistake has been in trying to protect your husband from the consequences of his drinking. What you need to do is attend some Al-Anon meetings and do what you can to steer your husband out of denial and into a substance-abuse program. To find a meeting near you, visit

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