DEAR ABBY: I am 64. When I was an insecure 15-year-old, I liked showing off for my two best friends. We often made fun of other kids behind their backs. With them, my smart mouth got me the attention I craved.
One day I slipped up and whispered something too loudly. The girl heard what I said about her, and the stricken look on her face told me how much it hurt.
I looked for her at our 20th reunion wanting to apologize, but she was absent. I wish I could take back what I said, but I can't. However, I have spent the last 49 years trying to be kind to others to make up for it.
If there are people who read your column who remember a stinging remark that was aimed at them, please let them know that some of us regret it very much. I hope they find forgiveness so they can be free of bitterness and hurt. I am truly sorry. -- MISS SMART MOUTH IN OKLAHOMA
DEAR MISS SMART MOUTH: I'm glad you wrote because I'm sure more than one reader has been the target of unkind remarks at one time or another, and even may have made a few themselves. An apology to your classmate was definitely in order, even if 20 years late. Too bad the woman wasn't around to hear it.
I'll share something with you a trial lawyer once told me. He said, "You can't unring the bell." What he meant by it was that a judge can instruct a jury to "disregard that statement," but once something is out there, it's very hard to erase from memory. The context may be different, but it applies to relationships, too.