DEAR ABBY: After my daughter Jenna's father tried to strangle me in a drunken rage one night, I took her and left. Years later, we are on good terms. I have legal custody. He sends financial support and visits about once a month. My finances, however, are not great.
Because we are not in touch with his extended family, I was surprised when he told me his sister wants Jenna to be a flower girl in her destination wedding. I'm not comfortable sending her alone with her father because of his history of alcohol abuse (which his sister is unaware of). I am not financially able to take her myself.
Is there a solution I'm overlooking? Am I callous for thinking she just wants a cute child as an accessory to her wedding party? -- MOTHER OF THE FLOWER GIRL
DEAR MOTHER: Without knowing your former partner's sister, it would be unfair of me to guess her reason for wanting your daughter in her wedding. However, if your ex is still drinking, you are absolutely right that Jenna should not be traveling with him. Perhaps he would be willing to pay for both of you to be there.