Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

Expectant Mom Is Startled by Invasive Questions

DEAR ABBY: One of my dear friends is pregnant with her first child, and she couldn't be more excited. Even though she's only in her second trimester, her "baby bump" is conspicuous, and it seems people (friends, family and complete strangers) can't help but comment that she seems "ready to pop." When they learn she still has many weeks to go, invariably people ask if she's having twins (she's not). Her grandmother went so far as to ask for ultrasound photos to prove she's carrying only one baby.

It has made my friend very self-conscious. Even though she's in perfect health, the comments are really getting to her. Any advice on how to graciously deflect these unwanted comments? -- NO TWINS IN THE TWIN CITIES

DEAR NO TWINS: When someone volunteers that your friend is so big she must be carrying twins, she should say, "Nope! Only one healthy baby in there, according to my gynecologist."

She needs to remember that there is no end to the insensitive personal comments that people make, and that it's important to keep her sense of humor and keep in mind she'll have to hear them only for a few more months.

Read more in: Etiquette & Ethics