DEAR ABBY: I'm a 14-year-old girl with two younger brothers. They fight all the time, which I understand is normal. The problem is, my dad favors my youngest brother. If there's a conflict between my brothers, he always punishes the oldest whether he deserves it or not. I have come to realize this is because of my dad's own bad relationship with his older brother and that this is his way of getting revenge.
It's taking a toll on my brother emotionally because he already struggles with school and sports. I'm afraid he will become depressed. My mom will never speak up about it, and when I do, despite my good relationship with my dad, he punishes me. Sometimes I'm afraid he'll become violent. I feel boxed in, Abby. Please help. -- STUCK SISTER
DEAR SISTER: You're a brave girl, and I'm glad you wrote. Regardless of how dysfunctional your father's relationship may have been with his older brother, it does not give him the right to abuse your brother. Your mother may be afraid of your father or she would have put a stop to it years ago.
You say you are afraid your father will become violent with you, which suggests that you have seen it happen to other family members. If you try to discuss this further with your dad, you might be at risk for violence.
It's important that you find an adult you trust who can intervene on your brother's behalf -- a teacher, a relative or even a neighbor. Another strong male may be what it takes to protect your brother.
P.S. If this doesn't solve the problem, please write to me again and let me know.