DEAR ABBY: I could use some advice about family roles. Mine always seems to be the peacekeeper and mediator. Without going into too much detail, my family has some issues, and they usually volunteer me to fix the problem. It's extremely stressful, and I feel guilty when I don't succeed.
I am a travel nurse, and I accepted an assignment across the country to try to step back from it. Some of the drama follows me here, but it's nothing like when I was home. My guilt continues because I feel like my duty is to be with my family, especially my sister, who is emotionally co-dependent on me. Any advice to help divide the roles? -- OVERWHELMED IN PHOENIX
DEAR OVERWHELMED: Please stop feeling like you did something wrong in taking that assignment. You made the right choice. By doing it, you have gifted your family with the opportunity to learn to deal with its issues without relying exclusively on you. By now it should have dawned on you that you cannot fix your sister's co-dependency problem. Only she can do that, if she's willing to recognize that she has a problem and accept that a licensed psychotherapist -- and not her sister -- can provide her with the tools to overcome it.