DEAR ABBY: As someone on a second marriage, may I point something out to your readers? An engagement is not marriage. People need to take a hard look at the person they are choosing to spend the rest of their lives with, and understand that they cannot change another person. Red flags should be addressed during the engagement. That little annoyance will grow and has the potential to blossom into a huge issue.
Counseling can be wonderfully useful, but bear in mind it can take several tries to find a counselor who clicks with you. Take it from me, divorce is horrible and can cause damage that can never really be undone. -- EXPERIENCED IN TENNESSEE
DEAR EXPERIENCED: You're right; problems don't solve themselves, and people in love don't always think rationally. However, I hope they will pay attention to your excellent advice because I couldn't have said it better myself.