DEAR ABBY: I fell in love with "Alex" during my last year of college. We had known each other for 18 months. One month before our wedding, he broke up with me. He says I was verbally abusive.
I admit I had anger issues. I had to plan most of the wedding alone because we were four hours apart. When we argued, he would say one thing and then something different later. He would also tell his mom stuff about me and our relationship that I considered private. After the breakup, I found out he had lied to me about his religion.
I had a hard time with the breakup. I tried hard to reconcile or find solutions, but he rejected all of them. Now he's blaming me and throwing things in my face.
I am heartbroken and depressed. I don't know if I should be mad at him for the lies and the heartache he has caused me, or mad at myself for messing up. I have lost my confidence and self-esteem. What do I do? -- STILL IN LOVE
DEAR STILL IN LOVE: Take off the rose-colored glasses for a moment and consider what the reality of a marriage to Alex would have been like. You would have had a mama's boy for a husband, one you couldn't count on to tell the truth and who blamed you for anything that went wrong.
Don't you realize you dodged a bullet? If things had turned out differently, you'd be writing me as an unhappy wife, probably with children to support.
Let it go, get help for your anger issues and don't waste more time brooding. There are times it is better that we don't get the things we wish for, and this may be one of them.