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by Abigail Van Buren

Better Mental Health Care May Prevent Future Violence

DEAR ABBY: The man I lived with for 25 years, "Craig," and I have split. It was my decision. He now has a new woman in his life, and she is pregnant. Craig and I share a 23-year-old son.

Craig calls me often. He's my best friend and I wish him the best, but I get the feeling he is unhappy with this woman and feels trapped. He calls to ask me for advice and talk about the problems he has with her.

The woman has forbidden him to have contact with me so he has to sneak the calls. Should I not talk to him anymore, or leave it to him to make that decision? It seems to me he still needs me in his life as a friend. Is he emotionally cheating on this new woman? -- SYMPATHETIC EX IN VIRGINIA

DEAR EX: If Craig needs counseling, he should be getting it from an unbiased professional. His lady friend obviously views you as her rival, which is why she has forbidden him to contact you.

It's time to ask yourself how being in the middle of this makes you feel. If the answer is "not good," then tell Craig you don't want to cause problems in his new relationship, and sneaking around is dishonest and childish. And yes, this is a form of cheating because Craig is still emotionally dependent on you.

Read more in: Marriage & Divorce