DEAR ABBY: I'm the father of a beautiful, intelligent 9-year-old daughter I'll call Stella. About three years ago, her mother married a man from an affluent family and moved three hours away. In order to be closer to Stella, I moved there as well.
I have been divorced for six years now, and my relationship with my daughter has not improved during that time. I spend every Thursday afternoon with her and every other weekend. She recently joined a basketball team, and I go to her practices and games.
My biggest concern -- and pain -- is, whenever Stella is with me she cries for her mother. It hurts, because I have tried hard to foster a relationship with my daughter and have been unable to. I took her to Disney World and she spent half the time crying. I ask myself if I am only hurting her or if I should continue to see her. Can you give me some advice? -- DISAPPOINTED DADDY IN TEXAS
DEAR DISAPPOINTED DADDY: Have you talked to Stella's mother and asked her what's going on with your daughter? By age 9 she's a little old for separation anxiety. Not knowing everyone involved, my first reaction is to wonder if there has been parental alienation happening.
My second is to suggest that you enlist the help of a licensed family therapist to find out why Stella acts this way every time she's alone with you. If the problem is that she is immature, ride things out. If it's something more, then it's important you get to the bottom of it.