DEAR ABBY: Every year, my children choose to attend Thanksgiving with their in-laws or friends rather than come to our home. Then they ask me to prepare a celebration the day after or another day.
My husband and I feel left out. It's plain that we are considered "second" and the kids come only because they feel guilty. Preparing a meal is expensive and time-consuming. We would like to celebrate on the actual holiday.
I think we should be treated with more respect. I also feel like telling these ingrates to stay home this year because we have decided to donate our time to a homeless shelter. Your thoughts? -- LEFT OUT IN LEXINGTON
DEAR LEFT OUT: I can see why your feelings are hurt. In fairness, I think your children should alternate with which in-laws they spend the holidays.
If you would prefer to make or serve Thanksgiving dinner at a shelter, you should do it. Many people volunteer their time during the holidays, and at other times during the year, and find it gratifying. However, when you inform your children about your plans, try to keep the anger out of the tone of your message.