DEAR ABBY: How long is too long to wait when it comes to hearing the highly anticipated phrase, "I love you"? My boyfriend and I have been dating for eight months. We have been through a lot together during this time, and his actions suggest that he loves me. When I finally asked him why he hasn't said it to me, he said, "Why haven't you said it?" "I want it to happen naturally," and, "Just be patient with me."
We get along amazingly well. We have a wonderful time every time we see each other (which is almost every day), and he has told me he can see a future with me. Am I wrong for thinking I deserve to hear the "L" word at this point, or am I rushing things? I don't understand why he is so reluctant to say it, and his reluctance makes me think maybe he just doesn't love me. -- STILL WAITING IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR STILL WAITING: Not all men are comfortable expressing their emotions verbally. Actions speak louder than words. Many men have told women they "love" them, only to have their behavior prove otherwise.
That your boyfriend has given you three different answers to your question indicates to me that you may have been pushing him to say it. I would caution you against that because it could push him away. Hearing the words "I love you" isn't something a person "deserves." It's important that the words be genuine.