DEAR ABBY: I am a single mother struggling with my 12-year-old daughter. For the last three months she has been withdrawn, uncommunicative, rude, mean and treats me with contempt. We have been in counseling and are going back again, but I can't ask people to stay with her while I go and recharge my spirit because she's so rude to them as well.
I need to know, Abby, what do other parents do to make it through this incredibly painful period in the lives of their teenager and themselves? -- SINGLE MOM IN CANADA
DEAR SINGLE MOM: Any abrupt change in behavior should be regarded as a red flag. Your daughter should be evaluated by her pediatrician to be sure there isn't an underlying cause. Could she have been molested, be using drugs, pills, alcohol, etc.? Do her friends act this way? Does she have friends?
Changes like this don't usually happen overnight. Was this behavior tolerated when she was smaller? If a child of mine behaved that way, she would be grounded and her cellphone and Internet privileges canceled until she was 30.
As to whom you can leave her with while you "recharge," does this girl have a father, an aunt, a grandparent who can give you respite? That's how some single parents get a break. But if those resources are not available, you will have to deal with this (with the help of a more effective therapist than the one you were using) until your "problem child" becomes an adult.