Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

Pregnant Woman Upset That Parents Are Fostering A Child

DEAR ABBY: I'm pregnant with my first child and live 800 miles from my parents, who are retired. We have a good relationship now, but growing up I had major emotional issues my parents didn't handle well. Years of therapy in my early adulthood helped to fix them.

My parents have just told me they have been approved to be foster parents and will be caring for an emotionally disturbed teenager soon. While I know I should be happy for them, I'm extremely upset. I feel they were ill-equipped to handle my emotional issues growing up, and they should be more concerned with their grandchildren in retirement than taking in strangers.

When I heard the news, I tried my best to sound supportive, but they could tell I was upset. How can I handle these feelings? Would it be beneficial to tell them how I feel? -- MOMMY-TO-BE IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR MOMMY-TO-BE: A way to handle your feelings would be to view the situation from the perspective of an adult, not a jealous child. That your parents will foster this teenager doesn't mean they will love their grandchildren any less.

On some level they may be trying to make up for the mistakes they made in your upbringing. Because they were ill-equipped to recognize your emotional problems does not mean they won't be wiser now. I suggest you wait to discuss this with them until you're feeling less resentful.

Read more in: Family & Parenting