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by Abigail Van Buren

Repeat Requests For Assistance With Adoption Should Be Scrutinized

DEAR ABBY: Some friends are in the process of adopting two children internationally. Early on, they had a garage sale with the proceeds going toward the adoption. I was excited for them and wanted to help. However, this was soon followed by more requests -- for yard sale donations, two more garage sales, the "opportunity" to buy expensive coffee online, a fundraising dinner, and then a solicitation for me and others to provide a "virtual shower" of plane ticket money.

Each time I am notified about another fundraiser, I feel less and less charitable. I have never been asked for money for the same thing in so many different ways in such a short time. While I'm thrilled with their desire to adopt, I am increasingly disgusted and put off by their continued pleas for money. Am I wrong to be so upset about this? -- A LITTLE TICKED OFF

DEAR TICKED OFF: It appears your "friends" are taking advantage of your generosity. It will continue for only as long as you permit it. Because the requests for help are continuous, are you absolutely sure this couple is really in the middle of the adoption process and not using the money for some other purpose? Before donating anything else, you should find out.

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