DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend for seven years. We have no children together, but he has two young children from a previous relationship whom I have been raising as my own. They call me "Mom," but they know I'm not their biological mother. Their mother has not contacted them -- or cared to -- since the younger one was just months old.
My fear is now that the kids are getting older, they may want to form a relationship with her later on. I don't want to seem selfish, but they are my kids. Any girl can have a baby, but it takes a real woman to be a mom. How should I handle this when that time comes? -- DREADING THE FUTURE IN ARIZONA
DEAR DREADING THE FUTURE: It is natural for children to want to know who their biological parents are; that's the reason adoption records are no longer sealed. You appear to fear that your boyfriend's ex-girlfriend will want to swoop in and steal your maternal spotlight. From all indications, it's not the case; you are the only mother they know.
If the children want information about their birth mother, the truth should not be kept from them. Meeting her does not guarantee they will love you any less. Worrying about it is self-defeating.