DEAR ABBY: For the past 10 years, the holiday season has brought with it arguments between my wife and me. We both get along with our in-laws and do many things with both sides of our families. But for some reason, my wife makes arrangements for the holidays without discussing them with me first. This year, she told her mom we would host Thanksgiving and that I would have to tell my family we wouldn't be coming to them.
My wife's sisters are not close to their in-laws. Am I wrong to think she should have discussed the matter with me before deciding unilaterally what we're doing for the holidays? Our kids need to see all their grandparents on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Oh -- our parents live only seven minutes from each other. -- HOLIDAY BLUES IN WISCONSIN
DEAR HOLIDAY BLUES: What your wife did was inconsiderate. You are a couple, and she should have discussed her plan with you before issuing any invitations to see if you were in agreement. If your home is too small to accommodate both sets of in-laws at the same time, a compromise would be to alternate holidays with each set so no family feels excluded.