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by Abigail Van Buren

Fiancee Mad At Future In-Laws For Friendship With Ex's Parents

DEAR ABBY: Before my son met his fiancee of five years, "Shelby," he went with another girl, "Dana," for three years. During that time we became good friends with Dana's parents (the "Smiths"). After the breakup, we stayed in touch with the Smiths and go out occasionally.

Recently, Mrs. Smith invited us to her husband's retirement party. When we told our son we were going, he mentioned it to Shelby, who told us we were being disrespectful to her by continuing our relationship with the Smiths.

Shelby's position is that all ties to Dana and her family should have been severed when the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship ended. Our position is the Smiths became friends of ours before Shelby was in the picture, and we don't think we are being disrespectful to anyone by continuing our relationship with this couple. Are we wrong? -- JIM IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR JIM: Of course not. Your son's fiancee appears to have serious insecurities. I sincerely hope you won't allow her to control your lives and your relationships, because if you do, this is just the beginning of how she will try to control you -- and your son. This is Shelby's problem. She will have to deal with it. Please do not make it yours.

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