DEAR ABBY: My 20-year-old daughter, "Roxanne," is attending college in a big city known for its crime rate, unemployment and despair. She lives alone in an apartment just off campus. She's a smart girl, careful and cautious, but I still worry about her to the point of sleepless nights and a general feeling of "when" something will happen -- not if.
Roxanne's apartment was broken into last Christmas. Thankfully, she wasn't there at the time. Since then, my worry has intensified -- especially if I don't hear from her for a few hours. We usually text or call each other at least once a day. If I don't hear from her, I panic.
My husband calls me a professional worrier and says I need to trust that our daughter is safe. I don't think I'll ever not worry about her, and the truth is I really want her to move back home. I realize this would be counterproductive to her achieving success, but I don't know how to let go of the worry. I need advice, Abby. Is this just a "mom thing" or should I seek help? -- HALF-CRAZED MOM IN MICHIGAN
DEAR MOM: It's a "mom thing" taken to the extreme. One of the reasons that children go away to college is so they -- and their parents -- can learn to live independently from each other. For you to expect your daughter to call or text you at least once a day feeds your dependence on her. It appears you suffer from a case of parental hypervigilance -- and yes, for both your sakes, you should seek professional help.