DEAR ABBY: I have been having an affair with "Ginger" for several years. She's married and has three kids. Ginger told me she and her husband had stopped being intimate just before we started our relationship.
Her husband caught on about a year ago. By this time Ginger and I had developed deep feelings for each other, but we agreed to stop because he had given her an ultimatum -- either break it off or get out. We stopped seeing each other for a few weeks, then she called saying she had been pregnant but had gotten an abortion, and we started up again.
This time we had to carefully plan our limited time together. We continued our relationship for another eight months before it finally ended. What I'm having a problem with is Ginger ended it with no phone call -- nothing. I haven't heard from her in more than a month, and she won't return my calls or texts. Don't you think I deserved a better goodbye? -- SITTING BY THE PHONE IN OHIO
DEAR SITTING BY THE PHONE: Not really. While closure might have made this less frustrating for you, Ginger tried to say goodbye to you before and it didn't work. What probably happened is her husband found out the affair was ongoing and is monitoring her closely. You'll feel better once you accept that Ginger has chosen him and the kids and moved on.