DEAR ABBY: I have started a relationship and am falling in love. I have known "Willa" for a few years, but we never really hung out before this. We see eye-to-eye on lots of things. However, the other night she told me she'd had a past relationship with her best guy friend, "Mike," whom she refers to as a "big brother." I have known him for a year.
Mike is someone I hang out with. Their fling was eight years ago. Willa also hinted there may be other mutual friends she has had relations with before me. I don't care who she's been with, but I feel I should know which ones we socialize with. And I'd rather hear it from her than find out from a friend. Willa says it isn't her place to spread other people's business. What do you think? -- WANTS ANSWERS
DEAR WANTS ANSWERS: Unless Willa intended to make a full disclosure, she shouldn't have teased you by making you curious. Obviously, you do care about whom she has been with, so now you need to be honest with yourself about why. Would you prefer not to socialize with the men with whom she has had past relationships? Because she has clammed up, perhaps you should assume that she has been with all of the men she has introduced you to. The question you need to ask yourself is whether you can put her past aside and focus instead on building a future with her.